Like, sometimes I think he thinks he is being funny, but it’s just hurtful.
I often call a warning out to someone about to pet my nameless cat: “Look out!” Almost always they say, “Why?” or “How come?” Um, why do you think, you silly upbeat moron? “Look out! — he’s drunk?” or “Look out! — he hits on babies?” Perhaps, “Look out — he likes to dance but he’s a horrible dipper!”
What the hell do you think, “look out” for? He attacks people.
He is a biter with no name who brooks no petting and will dig his claws into your arm and give tearing off your hand his all, purring to beat the band the entire time. I’ve had him eleven years and I theorize that he purrs loudest when he is “getting” someone because it turns him on to defy expectations and fight the Man.
I love my cat. When he dies it is going to fucking destroy me. I’m so weak for loving a cat. But I do. That little guy is my soulmate.