Some turbulence this week to start the year, which is not a thing I seek or enjoy. I’d like to find a cave to hide away for at least a hundred days, but all I can do is slog through. I will not be pulled by the current toward the drowning deep waters of self-pity and away from solid ground, self-improvement, and good spirits. Today this song, together with the support of my friends and family, is the sturdy field of underwater reeds that are keeping me in the shallows. Cling and inch along with me.
St. Vincent – Human Racing
Romeo, where’d you go?
It’s been years and still no sign
But I’m keeping hope alive
Juliet, how’ve you been?
You look like death
like you sure could use some rest
from this place
Still from Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann, 1996). Every time this scene begins I want to stop them.
and the faces of people
who pound at your door
They’ll always want more
they’ll want more
Thank god for the grace of my dear friendohs who help me keep whatever semblance of sanity I have, and I know that with their help and my own determination, I will only improve in my outlook.
The good thing about nearness to the bottom is that it’s such a known factor. When you can kick your legs and your knees keep striking the sand, then you know which way is up and truly only better can follow.
I believe that I will surface. I don’t think that giving up is failing, it’s just that I’m not ready to let myself quit.