Archive for September 13th, 2009

Good day, sunshine

September 13, 2009

“It’s a dangerous business, going out your front door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” –Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

I had a really special, good day yesterday. I took my ruby slips and my red umbrella on a few adventures, highlights of which I am still thinking about and look forward to sharing. I plan to write more soon, but it’s the weekend and that means family time, because I’m oldtimey like that. Off to church now, because I am also oldtimey like that.

At the bus stop.

Very magical morning and early afternoon. I’ll explain later. See you soon!

Unlikely G’s: Extremely NSFW

September 13, 2009

Hat Girl is so much flyer than you. What is that like?

Daily Batman: Enter the Riddler

September 13, 2009

It’s a good thing you have a buddy in this one, Bruce Wayne, because Edward Nymga and Sugar would like to take you on a strange trip.

Mr. Nygma, you'll forgive me for
being rude. But what exactly is on
your mind?

Precisely. What's on all our minds?
Brainwaves. The future of Wayne
Enterprises is Brainwaves!

It's hard to imagine anyone more awkward. The effect is
painful. Folks stare, mouths wide.

(Yes, the stage directions actually say “It’s hard to imagine anyone more awkward.” Akiva Goldsman screenplays ftw!)

And for the haters who say that Batman Forever is the worst movie out of the Batman franchise films, I encourage you to re-watch Batman and Robin and see if you don’t change your mind.

It happens: Gretchen Weiner edition

September 13, 2009

Gretchen: [in her English class essay, after being humiliated by Regina] Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just *stab* Caesar! —Mean Girls

It also happens: an imaginary scene that just happened in my head.

A Marketplace in Rome. Citizens are gathered in the dusty streets beneath a balcony, on which a man in a white toga and a purple cape draped across his shoulders stands with one arm raised up. He is clearly a snappy dresser, but he is also, it seems from the expectant mood of the crowd, reputed to be a powerful orator.

I am standing next to an ordinary citizen, waiting to hear what the man on the balcony has to say. After greeting the crowd, his opening salvo shocks the audience:

“I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.”

The assembled friends, Romans, and countrymen are all like, “Well, yeah. Did we not just assassinate that motherfucker, like, yesterday?”

Marc Antony draws back a little for dramatic effect, and, in the interim, I leap to my feet and address the stirring crowd calmly.

“Settle down, you guys—yes, we stabbed the everloving crap out of Julius Caesar, but you’re about to hear what is widely regarded as the most thumping-good rhetorical masterpiece evah; you will be thunderstruck and agog as you are lead on a journey challenging and surpassing all the expectations you hold about typical conventions of speech.

“Everything you think you know about eulogies is about to change. Hush, now, Citizens, and let Marc Antony blow ya mind.”

Won’t you please let Marc Antony blow ya mind?


Razzle dazzle ’em Redux: Lieutenant Troi edition

September 13, 2009

Advice for the day: Razzle dazzle ’em! Lieutenant Troi most certainly is.

Work with the tools you’re given and make it happen!