Have to stop slipping and letting the waves roll me under like a coward. Must remember.
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.” –Ellen Goodman
Yes, Ellen Goodman, that is just exactly what normal is. And I tried to be normal, and I tried to pretend like I liked trying, and I tried to pretend like I wanted to succeed, but in the end I couldn’t stomach it and I quit. I believe more often than not in some kind of a god, and when I do believe in a god, I do not believe this system can possibly be that god’s plan, that we do such stupid, repetitive, horribly mundane things which affect nothing and only prop up the necessity for their own repetition, my mind completely revolts against the possibility that this is what we are born for.
Honestly, how can such a thing as serving as a cog in the wheel in the blade of the sharpener for the grinder that is meant to squash you flat and dice you up even possibly, remotely, be the intent of any kind of creator, when all this potential crackles in your every joint and synapse with each breath you draw? No way. No way is this the plan. I refuse that reality. I refuse to be branded normal.
So I quit. I really do. It happens that way sometimes, I think, that the lunacy of this western world thunderstrikes you and you have to stop putting aside that instinct that you are paying in to an empty account, and accept that you know it is all simply funny money upon whose value we agree to agree because discord makes us all uneasy, and just say the hell with the bank of bullshit and walk away from the whole shebang.
It happens. Join me. Let’s figure out a different way: maybe we will come up with one so much better-suited to ourselves that everyone will agree it should definitely be the new Normal, and we can end this crushing misguided misery. I think that might be a lot closer to that possible god’s potential plan than the way we’ve been doing it. So let’s get on this, okay? Let’s make this be what happens.