Archive for September 22nd, 2009

Advice: Topless Sophia Loren Edition (like is anything ever going to be SFW on here again?, not likely)

September 22, 2009

“Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” –Sophia Loren

Girls, eat something! Boys, pinch their bottoms! And everybody blow kisses in Italy’s general direction.

On behalf of Italians everywhere, I say: You’re welcome.

Ghostamus Postamus

September 22, 2009

Am I at the pub, winning at trivia? Who knows! All I know is, I sure hope they still got some Boddington’s, and, if they have, I am just wreckin’ it! I hope it is writing letters home to England, all like, “Dear Mummy and Daddy, everything was going decently until this woman showed up, she is some kind of crazy writer and she calls all her friends by aliases, I think her name starts with an E — she keeps making feral cat noises and drinking pints of me. I fear I shall never see Manchester again!” And it will be right, and its parents will come to me seeking vendetta, but I will just drink them too.

Mmmmm…….

I left the following liberated negative spaces behind last week, I wonder what I’ll be called to pass along tonight?

I was thinking of no longer liberating negative space at the pub but we’ll see if I can keep that resolution.

Unlikely G: Ronny Camareri Edition

September 22, 2009

Oh, you dear mad unexpected one-handed Romeo, your character makes me forgive Nicolas Cage for all his sins.

“Love doesn’t make things nice. It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit.” — Ronny Camareri, Moonstruck

It happens: “Sometimes” 2nd Ed. feat. J-Mys and Señor R Toy Story

September 22, 2009

It happens: Sometimes… we like our toys better than boys.


Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, I am totally not talking about cooking stuff, I am really talking about vibrators. Sooo subtle, me. I’ve actually never used one. Just not much of a prop guy when it comes to alone time, I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard good things! It’s just never been a thing I pursued, personally, despite being an essentially playful kind of a gal.

But my pals and I have this old friendoh who I have not seen in awhile, the lovely miss J-Mys, who had one of the best toy stories ever.

Okay, so once, during intercourse —by which I mean Doing It, to be clear— with her boyfriend at the time, Señor R, J-Mys was in the traditional receiving position and Señor R put his hand under the pillow to draw her closer, why we can only speculate but I have always assumed for smooches, and he not only inadvertently grabbed her vibrator from where she had hastily stashed it beneath the pillow the night before, but accidentally turned it on. Yeah. I love that story.

I need to call her, it’s been an awfully long time and life is too short to let the good of bygone things fall away without a fight, isn’t it… Anyway, that’s my sex toy story about J-Mys and Señor R. Hope that brightened your day!

I’m having kind of a shit week and it’s only Tuesday, so brighten my day right back with some Sexytimes Mishap anecdotes of your own, if you got ’em!

Wild hearts kept in cages (typically NSFW)

September 22, 2009

Earlier today Panda Eraser quoted Tori Amos, saying, “You’re just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird.” I told her that it always made me think of a line from Tennessee Williams: “A prayer for the wild hearts, kept in cages.” That in turn made me think of the lyrics to a song I really like by awesomely offbeat and unusual indie Australian artist Sia Furler.

She is even more delightful in person, apparently, as is evidenced by this video of her performing her song “Electric Bird” live, off of her album Some People Have Real Problems. (There is another video on youtube of her performing this song live at Bush Hall in London which begins with her in mid-rapport with the audience, saying, “I’m into trannies, too, and sometimes chicks. Whatever: send me a letter!” Attagirl. That one has embedding disabled by request but you can easily find it. Oh, heckfire, here’s a link.)

Someone plugged you in
And sadly they clipped your wings
Now you can’t fly away electric bird
Yeah someone took your tweet
One day they fed you that bad seed
You can’t fly away electric bird

Well you’re art, you fell into this part
You play the victim perfectly holding your beating heart
You used to be so smart
You fluttered round the yard making your magic

Got to set you free, you were blinded by deceit
You can’t fly away electric bird
So now this rooms all staged
While you’re stuck there in that cage
You can’t fly away electric bird

Well you’re art, you fell into this part
You play the victim perfectly holding your beating heart
You used to be so smart
You fluttered round the yard making your magic
—Sia, “Electric Bird,” Some People Have Real Problems.

You can listen to the album version here.

I think the point which Sia is making is that we often cage ourselves, we set ourselves up to be the victims, whether consciously or un-. I don’t know if it’s a devil-you-know situation or an issue of masochism, and I’m not sure yet how this relates to Tennessee and Tori — or me. But I’ve got some ideas and I’m thinking about it!

Daily Batman: It happens redux

September 22, 2009

Batgirl is shocked —shocked!— by the homosexuality she is seeing here, you guys. Good gravy.


(by Mark Chamberlain)

Actually, Betty Kane, the first Batgirl, was specifically brought in to the Batman comic story line to quell the HUAC accusations of tacit endorsement of homosexuality in the comics industry. Far better writers than me have tackled the story, including the incredibly wonderful Michael Chabon in his Pulitzer-prize-winning fictional account of a large span of the lives of two cousins as they intersect with comics history, a narrative which includes the time period during which the so-called Comics Code was formed, The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, a book that is this wonderful journey through several decades that touches on everything from love to Dali to the second World War, and which I recommend with the highest praise to any and everyone.