Archive for November 24th, 2009

Advice: Somewhat NSFW Liv Tyler edition

November 24, 2009

Twice now, all this “Miss November,” “Playmate of the Month” nonsense — to which I will never commit again, even though I plan to continue featuring noteworthy playmates and models as time goes by; sorry, but doing all the Misses of the month in that month is nothing less than exhausting — has lead to me tagging posts “Liv Tyler” without having a legit standalone post yet for her even though I think she is completely the bees’ knees. So let’s remedy that stickity-stat!


Photograph by who else? Ellen Von Unwerth

I am scared of becoming a mother.

I love to go shopping at Target. They have so much stuff there!, and you can buy almost anything, it’s really amazing.


I don’t think I’m particularly beautiful at all.


Photographed by Henri Tullio in France, 2005, at Givenchy’s dedication of the Liv Tyler Rose.

The age I’m at now, you go from being a young girl to suddenly you blossom into a woman. You ripen, you know? And then you start to rot.

I’m not perfect at all.

Um, NEVER to both of those; I think she is disarmingly honest and kind and special. Do you love that she is barefoot? Liv “Rundgren” Tyler, you so cool.


Love what I do and I have no regrets, but the people I care about are by far the most important thing. I would kill for them. They make my life worth living.

There is no definition of beauty, but when you can see someone’s spirit coming through, something unexplainable, that’s beautiful to me.


With gorgeous sister, model-author Mia Tyler — I am so sorry about the huge “Corbis” watermark in the center of this picture.

I don’t want to spend so much time obsessing about myself. I love to cook and I love to eat. And yet, if I am not careful, I could be considered chubby in the film business. That’s why it is great for me not to live in Hollywood. I love to go to the country where I can wear my pajamas all day long if I want.


Oh, my God, this amazing cool breeze is coming through my window and the sun is shining. I’m happy.


Photograph by David LaChapelle

Half my directors have no idea about my family situation. [Stealing Beauty director] Bernardo [Bertolucci] had no idea who Aerosmith was. People always want to take away from the work that you did, like they want to think it was easy, somehow. I got those parts because I worked hard to get them.


Screencapture from The Fellowship of the Ring, one of those tricksy Hobbitses movies.

I was staying with some friends in England, and it was New Year’s. My husband, Roy [Langdon of Spacehog], and I were sleeping, and I woke to the sound of our friend’s two little boys. They were going around the bedrooms opening the doors and looking in.

When they got to our door, one little boy went to open it and the other said, “No! Don’t open that door! The princess is sleeping in there.

It made my heart leap out of my chest. I think that was the first time I really realized the impact these [Lord of the Rings] films had on people.


Solitude has its own very strange beauty to it.

Daily Batman: Vain Vicki Vale edition

November 24, 2009

Oh, my god. Now is not the time to lie about your weight, Vicki Vale.

NSFW November: Miss November 1988

November 24, 2009

The lovely and talented Miss November 1988, was reported in her interview to be the first Filipino model to appear in Playboy.

“I am an ethnic jumble,” says [name]. … “My parents had their Filipino friends — my Mom was always cooking this smelly fish — but I grew up like a white suburban kid. I played lacrosse, basketball and tennis. (“Thrilla from Manila,” Playboy, November 1988)


They called her article, “Thrilla From Manila,” but actually she grew up in Havertown, Pennsylvania. In case you don’t get the title (which makes you absolutely no son of mine), it is a reference to the third and final fight between heavyweight boxers Cassius “Muhammad Ali” Clay and Joe Frazier for the title of Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World, which took place in the Philippines on October 2, 1975.

The fight finally brought to a conclusion a bitter rivalry that had been going since 1971, that for my money is one of the best stories in the history of sports (where is its movie, Hollywood???). This one’s got it all, guys: draft-dodging, personal jealousies, the backdrop of major historical events, the freaking President getting involved, even. And through it all, two very different but very contentious personalities, Frazier and Ali, duking it out verbally and physically, in the press and in pre-fights. In the Thrilla in Manila, they went fourteen grueling, brutal rounds, both fighting to the point of almost total physical exhaustion before boxing official Eddie Futch declared Ali the victor (he said at the time it was to spare Frazier’s life, although really either could have gone).

Frazier protested stopping the fight, shouting “I want him boss,” and trying to get Futch to change his mind.

Futch simply replied, “It’s all over. No one will forget what you did here today”, and signaled to the referee to end the bout. Ali was therefore declared the victor.

He would later claim that this was the closest to dying he had ever been, and also stated, “Joe Frazier, I’ll tell the world right now, brings out the best in me. I’m gonna tell ya, that’s one helluva man, and God bless him.”

In a brief post-fight interview with one of the commentators, Ali announced, “He is the greatest fighter of all times, next to me.” (the wiki)

Do you even understand how major all of that is? Boxing is not as violent as you think, and it’s not always just big fat guys hugging (I always say, “Get a room or start punching”), not when you have two men in the ring as skilled as Frazier and the Greatest. Though you seldom see it at the heavyweight level, you see it more often with middle and welter (not bantam as much cause they’re so quick it’s like the cockfight from which their category’s name comes), it’s a graceful and carefully plotted series of moves, like a bloody ballet, it’s like … like art. It’s a dance. And you have these two combatants who are so equally matched that they are like hell-soul-mates, made to fight each other. That’s just, it’s just — like… god… oh, man, I honestly get misty just thinking about that event. That is some great motherfucking sports right there. I wish I had been born to see it firsthand, but I’ve watched clips of it on ESPN classic. (Boy, I miss having that) Le sigh.

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As an epilogue, this story gets even better, in my opinion, because dig this: In June of 2001, guess who met for a grudge match on the Thrilla in Manila fight? Their freaking daughters. The fight was re-enacted, sort of, in New York by Laila “She Bee Stingin'” Ali and Jackie “Sister Smoke” Frazier-Lyde in what the press called Ali/Frazier IV. Laila, sixteen years younger than Jackie and with a little more training under her belt, took it in eight. But I love that both of them went for it! What a great story.

Finally, dig the Jessica Rabbit cover! God bless ya, Roger Rabbit and all of 1988. And to Miss November 1988, about whom this entry is not even at all remotely concerned, sorry. It’s not your fault that I think boxing is more interesting than whatever your little turn-ons and ambitions were. I feel kind of badly now. How about this? I will try to make it up to you another day, I swar to gar. You will get more attention from me later. Unless I forget.

NSFW November: Patti McGuire, Miss November 1976

November 24, 2009

Playboy’s Miss November 1976, the lovely and talented Patti McGuire, was also Playmate of the Year in 1977, and is famous in the Playboy world for two things; first, for being being to Hef’s right/the viewer’s left on the Playboy Pinball Machine backglass, and second, for being the cover model and centerfold in the issue where Jimmy Carter was interviewed.


It is the only issue in the history of the magazine to feature an interview with a presidential candidate — and of course, after only being on the stands about a week, he won the election. So now it is the only issue with a president interviewed in its pages. In the course of his profile and interview with Robert Scheer, Carter admitted,

“I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.”

a remark that has haunted his political career as jeers from the shadows which kind of besmirch all the awesome charity work he and his wife do with Habitat for Humanity. Yes, because he is the only person ever to have windowshopped. I think it is admirable he was open and humble about it. Excuse a dude for being honest.

Patti McGuire had some opinions about fidelity and affairs as well, but they were not quite in the same spirit of confession, self-improvement, and the difficulty of faithful loving as President Carter’s:

In discussing relationships, she admitted that she believed in a “reverse double” standard. She wanted to be free to explore casual affairs, but her man had to be faithful. Could she be more specific?

“Well, have you ever seen the original uncut version of King Kong? When Kong first meets Fay Wray, he peels off her clothes, fondles her and then sniffs his fingers. Later, when he’s climbing the Empire State Building, he reaches through a window and grabs a blonde. He sniffs her and, realizing that she is not his beloved, casually tosses her some 50 stories to her death. That’s my idea of a faithful lover.” (“Missouri Breaker,” Playboy, November 1976)

Patti married tennis star Jimmy Connors in 1978 and they are still together, so apparently he either cured her double standard or overlooks it. They have two children, according to the wiki. No word on if he ever threw anyone off a building for her, but obviously he is doing something right if they’ve been married thirty-one years.


Patti at the 2009 Chicago Glamourcon with the Bally’s Pinball Machine backglass

These days, Patti travels and does public appearances with other playmates, and devotes her time to her husband and children. In the above picture, she is at the Chicago Glamourcon in 2009, posing with the famous Pinball Machine. She was recently featured on a site called goodplasticsurgery.com, who pointed out that her face still looks like her own, despite that, given her age, she has probably had light work done. I agree. She’s looking well. I think it’s because she’s lived a good, happy life. What more can any of us ask for!