Movie Moment: Face/Off (1997)

You must never ask me or Paolo what we think of this movie unless you are a person who can handle watching someone yak and try to choke themselves with it to escape the hell of their own memories.

Castor Troy: It’s like looking in a mirror. Only… not.

This John Woo movie is so, so, so ridiculously bad that it almost makes you say, “Wait, is it so stupid that it actually orbited around to being awesome?” But the answer is a qualified no. It falls a hairsbreadth short of being so bad that it’s good, remaining just plain poorly written, stupid, and a waste of your time.

Sean Archer: I want to take his face… off. Eyes, nose, skin, teeth. It’s coming off.

The slash in the title and the number of times that people run their fingers down each other’s faces like mentally challenged chimps are a huge part of why the movie falls short of awesome. The people involved in it took it too seriously. A true cult film has to be more accidentally shitty than this.

Dietrich: No more drugs for that man.

The only good part is this guy, Alessandro Nivola, who played the villain’s even less balanced brother. The character’s ridiculous name is Pollux Troy (his brother, the main baddie, is “Castor;” you know, like astronomy shit? *cringe*), but the freaky performance Nivola turns in surpasses that of anyone else but forever-tragically-underused Joan Allen in this film. He’s having fun with it and so it is, like, unhinged — super, super hot. I love crazy!

Castor Troy: You’re not the only one in the family with the brains.
Pollux Troy: No, although now I am the only one with the looks.
Castor Troy: Touche.

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4 Responses to “Movie Moment: Face/Off (1997)”

  1. Rincewind Says:

    Ahh, the lovely Face/Off movie… so many people says it’s a great one and so many people say different as well… I like this movie actually, it’s not great but it’s one of those mindless movies that is a pleasure to watch sometimes, corny lines and insane villains. Perfect matinee movie..

  2. Movie-Moment-FaceOff-1997 : Sysmaya Says:

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