Winter of my discontent: Dreamtime


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I said before that writing about my dreams was too disturbing, but that is a cop-out. This dream I had about two years ago. Its winter setting was emphatically a part of its ominous overtones.


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I dreamt that I was in a frozen town with my daughter, who was very young in the dream, and a man I had used to be with. I became separated from them during some type of dreary, macabre parade. There was something wrong and sinister about it, but I wasn’t sure what, and I was caught up in looking for my daughter and the man.


Winter Carnival, 1909.

The procession of people were all bundled up in raggedy black clothes, like Victoriana gone to seed, and the “floats” were black carriages making tracks down a main street in the snow.


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As I paced the street looking for the rest of my party, blowing on my hands and calling out for my daughter and the man, I saw a pulpy mess in the road and smeared, reddish-purple blood and tissue in the ruts left by the carriages.

They’d run over something that I had the impression was small and helpless but also somehow dear and marine, like an otter or seal or something. Each carriage kept rolling on, continually running over and through the remains of whatever this now bisected and strewn-out creature had once been.


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I tried to escape the image by going down different side alleys in the frozen town, but they all lead back to the same main street. The sight of the gore and entrails against the snow was chilling and horrifying on a deep-down level which was out of proportion to the event, like as if it had some weighty significance that my mind was shying away from fully realizing. I woke myself up with the kind of shock and sweat that suggested it had been a terrible nightmare, but I could not, when recollecting the details of the dream, understand why it upset me so much.


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I never thought about it until just now, but I guess it must have been my daughter in the street. I think that’s what my mind kept pulling me back from seeing.

This has not been an at-all uplifting or illuminating “Winter of my discontent” entry. But it does represent the second time I’ve attempted a Dreamtime entry. The first one was about a hanged woman. Based on that, you may think that I’m not doing so hot on the Dreamtime sharing, but that’s actually about the usual caliber of my dreams.

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2 Responses to “Winter of my discontent: Dreamtime”

  1. Winger7 Says:

    Hi,

    This is a dream of vulnerability. As a mother you are rightfully protective of your child amid what often seems like a grim, cold, uncaring world (symbolized by the dark parade) It is far too horrific to even contemplate harm coming to your child which may be why you perceived the bloody, pulpy remains as being some sort of marine animal, even though you feared it might very well be something else.

    Your fear is the fear of any mother who loves their child. Therefore this dream does not in and of itself indicate a dark, twisted psyche. It is perfectly natural for a mother to be concerned for her children. Once you have children, it is like you have another heart, walking around out in the world where all sorts of bad things might happen.

    Be well.

    • E. Says:

      Thanks for the insights, Winger. I read once that having a child is “like giving a hostage over to Fate.” So true.

      It occurred to me later in the day that if the body was my daughter, then the implication is also that the man in my dream didn’t do a very good job taking care of her while we were separated (they did not know one another well and would have never been together in actuality). Probably another thing I did not want to acknowledge at the time: the fear of relying on others to take as good of care of her as I think I do.

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