Flashback Friday — Advice on friendship, feminine power, and finding your tribe: NSFW Drew Barrymore

This post originally appeared on on November 14, 2009 at 3:15 pm.

“I also love to explore what defines who you are, and friendship, and how you love to rock out with your best friend and cruise and drive and listen to the Ramones and play air guitar, and yet at the same time, they will come and slap you when you’re acting out of line. I love the themes that I put on the poster: ‘Be your own hero’ and ‘Find your tribe.’ Those are two things that are really important in my life.”

(interview with the AV Club’s Sam Adams, October 1, 2009, for Whip It)

“I love empowering women, and I love women that are capable. The one thing that I’m not crazy about are women that feel like they have to be a man to live in a man’s world, or that men have the upper hand. These women have this bitter chip on their shoulder, and that’s not really sexy. I like girls who have got each other’s backs. …

… I don’t like cattiness, either. I hate seeing women be rude to each other. Oh God. I don’t like man-haters, and I don’t like back-stabbers. I like chicks who can fuckin’ rip it up, pull shit off, and want to go for a beer with each other at the end of the day!”

(“Whip It! interview with director Drew Barrymore,” Chris de Salvo, The Scorecard Review, September 30, 2009).

edit: When I posted this the first time, I had not yet seen Whip It. I watched it a couple months ago with Lo-Bo and Miss D and I thought it was great. From a critical standpoint, sure, I’m not stacking it up against Once Upon A Time In the West or The Godather: Part II, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t qualify as “great” in my book. You’re definitely not going to see some special release of it in the Criterion Collection, all fancy with laurel leaves around the names of the writers or anything, but it’s a fun flick whose cast is piled high with my favorite kind of women: flaky, unique, and funny.

It’s got a great noisy riot grrl soundtrack, too. I work out to a lot of songs from it. That’s right, she writes and she takes care of a bangin’ body. Call me.

Morning sunshine: Drew Barrymore has advice on control, mistakes, gratitude, and being yourself (naturally somewhat NSFW)

I learned at a really young age that you cannot control people or nature and how it evolves. It’s an impossible task, and you will drive yourself nuts trying to do it.

If you repeatedly make mistakes and don’t learn from them, then that’s a rocky path. But if you burn the shit out of yourself and then go, “O.K., that hurt, but I’ve got it now,” then you can go on.

The truth is, I know it can all fucking go away again in a heartbeat. That’s why I will always be grateful for every job I get. And about life, what do you do? Do you become a cloistered nun and not live your life because of the fear of what people might think or say?

That last one about not living your life because of fear of what people might say … that is touching a nerve. I need to think about that. Isn’t she just the best? Pure sunshine, I’m serious!

All quotes from “The Drew That Grew,” interview with Ingrid Sischy, Interview Magazine, May 1995.

Advice on friendship, feminine power, and finding your tribe: NSFW Drew Barrymore

“I also love to explore what defines who you are, and friendship, and how you love to rock out with your best friend and cruise and drive and listen to the Ramones and play air guitar, and yet at the same time, they will come and slap you when you’re acting out of line. I love the themes that I put on the poster: ‘Be your own hero’ and ‘Find your tribe.’ Those are two things that are really important in my life.” — (interview with the AV Club’s Sam Adams, October 1, 2009, for Whip It)

“I love empowering women, and I love women that are capable. The one thing that I’m not crazy about are women that feel like they have to be a man to live in a man’s world, or that men have the upper hand. These women have this bitter chip on their shoulder, and that’s not really sexy. I like girls who have got each other’s backs. …

… I don’t like cattiness, either. I hate seeing women be rude to each other. Oh God. I don’t like man-haters, and I don’t like back-stabbers. I like chicks who can fuckin’ rip it up, pull shit off, and want to go for a beer with each other at the end of the day!” — (“Whip It! interview with director Drew Barrymore,” Chris de Salvo, The Scorecard Review, September 30, 2009).

Advice: Beautiful and awesome Zooey Deschanel edition, totally SFW

“I love old music, old movies, screwball comedies, vintage clothes and basically I’m an old-fashioned gal!”

“Humor is a part of spirituality.”

“You can’t force fun, but you can set up situations where fun will happen to you.”

“I think the people who become the most famous aren’t necessarily these genetic products of the weird American beauty ideal. I mean, all those Playboy bunny types. They’re not filling seats in the theatre.”

Quotable and AWESOME but 100% safe for work? Say what! Hmm. Someone needs to talk to Drew Barrymore about the proper attire for a photoshoot.

Neverending Quotable NSFW Drew and Chili cook-off, here I come!

All done with the ambrosia, hair flat-ironed, going to slap on some mascara and slide on down to C-town for that there ol’ chili cook-off. Wish me luck! In the meanwhile, here is some adorable but culinarily challenged Drew Barrymore to brighten your night.

“I don’t cook, I can’t cook, and it is really abominable to see me in the kitchen. I order in takeaway food or get my friends to cook because a lot of them are very good.” — Drew Barrymore

“My culinary skills are terrible. I can’t even make toast taste good. I do make scrambled eggs for myself sometimes but I wouldn’t even inflict that on anyone else.” — Drew Barrymore

“I can cook about two things. I can boil hot water for the only pasta I can make.” — Drew Barrymore

I’ll let you know how the cookoff goes. Have a great night!

Advice: Drew Barrymore NSFW again (what?! I know! crazy!)

Today some quickies from Drew on humility, being true to oneself, and having a good self-image.

“I definitely don’t think that I’m hot doo-doo. I don’t.”

“I used to look in the mirror and feel shame, I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself.”

“There’s something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk.”

Today, I am trying to put together something spectacular for the Chili Cookoff that Paolo and Miss D are hosting tomorrow. Everyone is going to be there, and they’ve all snatched up the available sides: Miss D is doing cornbread and I think apple pie; Jonohs is of course on cheesecake duty (“legendary”); the LBC is making one of her amazing dips so she has that and chips nailed down already; Corinnette is bringing beverages; Geo, Paolo, and the Gentleman have all opted to enter top secret chili recipes; Jan-Han grabbed pasta salad right out from under my nose for which I do not begrudge her (like I am going to tell my oldest friend’s recently cancer-surviving mom who I adore that pasta salad is my signature dish, and I dare you to suggest I ought); I feel like all that’s left is brats and fancy sauces and rolls, but that feels super-unoriginal. If you have ideas, please throw them my way!

Meanwhile, as I get kind of shady and nervous about large social gatherings, I’ll be keeping the lovely and talented DB’s advice in mind today and work on inner peace. Today, inner peace: tomorrow, a chili cookoff. See, when I write it out like that, my goals are not only miniscule but almost embarassingly easy to achieve. Hurray!

Advice: NSFW Drew Barrymore Nth edition

“If you’re going to go through Hell, I suggest you come back learning something.” — the lovely and talented Drew Barrymore.

Guys, I love this woman. She is unicorn princesses and butterfly fairies and a giggle and a phat bowl like, just, all rolled in to one adorable, genuine package. Doesn’t it make you feel better just to know she’s out there somewhere, ordering a coffee and spreading sunshine all through some dour Starbucks or sparkling up the set of a talk show, making everyone smile?

“When I lay my head on the pillow at night I can say I was a decent person today. That’s when I feel beautiful.” — D.B.

Cheez-its, that is such an awesome thing to say off the cuff. What a force of love in the universe. We should all try to be such rays of light! I’m serious. Today I’m going to focus on being less cynical, downtrodden, and eye-rolling, and more upbeat, giggly, and Drew-y. Join me!

Advice: NSFW Drew Barrymore and more and more

Sk8 or die, y’all, and go see Whip It! Adorable Drew Barrymore would like it if you did, because it is her new movie, and she directed it and stuff like that. You do not say “no” to adorable Drew Barrymore. Do not make me laugh!

“I regard myself as bisexual. If you’re with a woman, it is like if you’re exploring your own body, only through someone else.” — Drew Barrymore, Vs magazine, AW09 issue.

Pretty sure that quote is actually all kinds of oversimplifying and in fact insulting to women who are legitimately attracted to other women and not just because hey-we-both-got-boobs-and-like-a-pussycat-I-am-a-pretty-little-narcissist. But you know what? I’m’a let it slide. Because Drew Barrymore said it.

“There are so many pressures that are put upon young women. Whatever we can do to alleviate that and help women feel beautiful about who we are inside, which is the only beauty there truly is, is so nice.” — Drew Barrymore

I swar to gar she is the sweetest thing to ever walk this planet. Not even kidding. Okay, last one for today:

“Let’s get down and dirty. Let’s be a real girl!” –Drew Barrymore.

You. are. the. boss.

NSFW Drew Barrymore: Pussy Magnet edition

Another nugget of what is beginning to be daily NSFW advice from the lovely and talented Drew Barrymore, pussy magnet.

“I don’t think that life happens by sitting back and waiting. People hold their cards so tight to their chest. Life is short. Tell people you love them. What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” –Drew Barrymore

Well, offhand, blithe young Miss Barrymore, I would answer that the worst that is going to happen is that they will not love you back.

But she’s got me there: is that the end of the world? Only if you let it be, I guess. I suppose there are two responses, should they not want you in return: you can either throw yourself off a cliff over it, metaphorically, or you can keep moving forward and waiting until someone falls into step beside you, and start the whole thing all over again.

So, thanks again, Drew! She is always surprising me.

Advice: Drew Barrymore NSFW Edition

Miss Drew Barrymore on keeping the faith:

“I’ve always said that one night, I’m going to find myself in some field somewhere, I’m standing on grass, and it’s raining, and I’m with the person I love, and I know I’m at the very point I’ve been dreaming of getting to.” –the beautiful and talented Drew Barrymore

Whatever is going on, it too shall pass. Pray for the night and the rain and the grass of your own with that special unknown someone, and keep that vision in your mind, and it will come before you know it. It has to.

Giving the people what they want: Inaugural edition feat. boob-gropin’ Megan Mullally

There has been nary even ONE SINGLE search for “Maggie Gyllenhaal” and “bdsm” on this blog (which I expected to see and find the lack frankly disappointing), but “boobs” and “Megan Mullally” tip the scales dramatically, even coming in ahead of “Asia Argento,” “gay batman,” and “Drew Barrymore.” So, heck, here you go, awesome internet party people: a little bit o’ Miss Megan Mullally lezzin’ out with Debra Messing a couple years back at an awards show:

And a quickie of just some topless Megs, cause she’s my fave from the sitcom Will and Grace, which I pretty much never watched so I guess it is pointless to say I have a favorite, but I will say whatever she did on that television thing, she is onstage a damned fine singer to boot.

Enjoy! Eskimo kisses to you all!

It happens: “Sometimes” inaugural edition feat. Miss Drew Barrymore in a robe

It happens: Sometimes, you need a couple of fags to cheer you up.

Unlikely G: Drew Barrymore NSFW edition

Turns out Miss Drew Barrymore is a total magnet for nude models.

Who knew? (my hand slowly raises…)

“So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian.” –Regina George, life-ruiner, Mean Girls

Daily Batman: Enter the Riddler

It’s a good thing you have a buddy in this one, Bruce Wayne, because Edward Nymga and Sugar would like to take you on a strange trip.

BRUCE
Mr. Nygma, you'll forgive me for
being rude. But what exactly is on
your mind?

EDWARD
Precisely. What's on all our minds?
Brainwaves. The future of Wayne
Enterprises is Brainwaves!

It's hard to imagine anyone more awkward. The effect is
painful. Folks stare, mouths wide.

(Yes, the stage directions actually say “It’s hard to imagine anyone more awkward.” Akiva Goldsman screenplays ftw!)

And for the haters who say that Batman Forever is the worst movie out of the Batman franchise films, I encourage you to re-watch Batman and Robin and see if you don’t change your mind.