Archive for the ‘NSFW November’ Category

NSFW November: Miss November 1993, Julianna Young

November 23, 2009

Okay, the possibility of that last girl being so drastically underaged in my opinion skeeved me out bad. So I looked for my oldest Miss November and here she is, a Kentucky girl who was living in Florida at the time of her appearance in Playboy.


No photo credit that I can find so far.

When the lovely and talented Julianna Young appeared for Playboy as Miss November in 1993, she was 33, tying Miss April 1985, Cindy Brooks, as the oldest Playmate to pose for a centerfold up until that time (please note that Playmates of the Month are different from the bunnies, the models featured on the cover, the girls in the tearsheets, and whatever actress or model is in the celebrity spreads who appear in any particular issue of the magazine).

For the record, they were both beaten out for the all-time most vine-ripened Playmate title when Rebecca Ramos posed at 35 in the January 2003 issue — and Tia Carrere (Wayne’s World, Jury Duty), 36 at the time, was the celebrity model in that issue, no less. Nice hustle on the dirty thirties, dudes! Chronologically enhanced ladies need love, too. But please be aware, that is the only thing Ms. Young says is enhanced about her.


Sorry, again, I do not know even at all who took the pictures for this spread. But 38 DD, to answer the other question.

“My large breasts are actually a blessing. They’ll get me through the door, and my brains can keep me there.”


TURNOFFS:
I am too liberal-minded to have any, nor is it my place to preach.

LAST GOOD CRY:
The hour and a half I spent watching the movie Free Willy. Also, seeing the devastation from Hurricane Andrew.

WHERE I LIVE:
I come from south Florida, a sunny place for shady characters.

That’s a great line. I mock Floridians all the time. I like to pretend it’s like a crazy colony for convicts, but I’m only kidding. It’s not like it’s as bad as Australia or anything. (left-field sick burn comin’ atcha, Oz!) Girl, you’re okay.

The Brazilian triplets cover story is thought-provoking, jes? I may go investigate that.

NSFW November: Miss November 1963, Terre Tucker

November 23, 2009

The most shocking and interesting feature for me about Terre Tucker, Miss November 1963, is her real age at the time she posed for Playboy: the article that acommpanied her pictorial states she was 19, but it would seem there is some controversy around that figure.


Photographed by Stan Molinowski

This take-life-as-she-finds-it girl is umber-tressed Terre Tucker, our November Playmate, an emerald-eyed 19-year-old who ripened under Arizona sunshine and emigrated to Chicago via Beverly Hills and Las Vegas. (“Fair deal,” Playboy, November 1963)

Despite the fairly lengthy work history she cites in her interview as a stewardess, model, and even a bunny at the Chicago Playboy club, it has been suggested that when she posed for the magazine in 1963, she allegedly was only 15. I don’t see how she could have done all that other stuff and only be 15, but I’m not really sure about these pictures now. I think I’m going to have to be selective about which ones I put up, cause I feel like this situation is just too iffy and skeevy.

I got that as-yet unsubstantiated information from Terre’s wiki entry, which contains this lengthy and I assume so-far unedited addendum from a person claiming to be her old friend and former roommate, who gives his name as Dave Nestor:

It needs to be pointed out that Terre Tucker is a fictitious name and history. Terre’s real name was Karen Smith, born to a large family of siblings in July 1948, in Chicago.

Surprisingly, Karen was only 15 years old when she posed for Playboy in June, 1963, turning 16 the following month. After a short training assignment in Chicago, Karen transferred to the Lake Geneva Playboy Club in Wisconsin. She then went on to work in Memphis, St. Louis and finally making her way to the Seattle area.

Karen was a very close friend who lived with me in a suburb of Seattle in 1972. When we met, she was recovering from cervical cancer which was pronounced cured after 5 years. Everyone who met Karen, immediately fell in love with this funny, interesting, beautiful and very sexy person. After meeting her 16-year old sister, be assured, these features run in her family.

(Mr. Nestor, you seem like a nice person, and I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but you might want to really take that part about her teenaged sister out, because it can be construed as slightly creepy.)

Among other business ventures, Karen was in great demand at car and boat shows where she signed autographs and posed for photos as Terre Tucker, throughout the 1970s and 80s.

Unfortunately, cancer returned in the late 1980s. Karen passed just before Christmas in 1990 and is survived by a son and daughter who shall remain anonymous.

davenestor@yahoo.com

I got no clue who to believe on this one. All I know is in her interview she said her favorite food was ravioli. And I like that stuff, too. The uncontroversial end!

NSFW November: Tiffany Taylor, Miss November 1998

November 23, 2009

Miss November 1998 was the lovely and talented Tiffany Taylor, who had already appeared in Playboy several times on tearsheet type pictorials.


Photographed by Richard Fegley

She totally looks like Liv Tyler in that shot, don’t you think? I think there is a strong similarity. Then again, it could just be a case of me seeing what I want to see.


Even at a young age I was fascinated by the women on swimsuit posters. I thought those women were the most beautiful women ever and I longed to look like them. This began my desire to be a model. (official site bio)


I was very shy as a child (a trait I still have today) and could barely order food for myself when I went out to dinner. Luckily my step mother helped me to break out of my shell a little bit and become more assertive. My childhood was happy and filled with love, family, and lots of pets.


Q : Unlike a lot of Playmates, you don’t want to be an actor. Why not?
A : I don’t like the Los Angeles party scene. I’ve seen too many people my age who look like they’re 30 because they do drugs and party all night. I’m a real homebody. I suffer withdrawal when I miss South Park.
(“Taylor Made,” Playboy, November 1998)



YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH
Ferrets, Coca-Cola, good loving, time to sit back and relax.

I’M ALWAYS
Driving fast, dining out, playing with my babies (my 7 ferrets). (Playboy data sheet)

I am totally on board with the driving fast and the preference of Coke over that nasty oversweetened malted battery acid the jokers call Pepsi, but ferrets? Hell to the no. J-Mys had some when she was engaged to Senor R way back in the day (just saw J-Mys this weekend for the first time since my wedding day, it was really good and she looked beautiful, blonder but still gorge) and those ferrets stank up the whole upstairs of their house. Grody to the max.


New York Comic-Con 2007

Ms. Taylor lives in Los Angeles now. But she does find time to travel back to the East Coast for special appearances. Here she is a couple years ago at the NYC Comic-Con with some lucky stormtroopers. Dude, I seriously love that picture so much. That’s one of the best I’ve seen of a playmate in present action yet.

edit, 8/17/09: I couldn’t understand why Tiffany Taylor shot up so high in people’s google searches that land them on my journal, so I googled her myself. She has just been a featured cast member on HBO’s very, very popular original series True Blood, based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels. I do not, myself, watch the program, but major kudos to her: get it, girl! A steamy cameo on a hotly-buzzed-about show is a huge opportunity for a young actress right now.


via shesocrazy, visit the site stat for more shots and fun pics and commentary on all the lady-news that’s fit to print (like this site, essentially nsfw — but super-loveable!).

Congrats to her and good luck in her career!

NSFW November: Veronica Gamba, Miss November 1983

November 23, 2009

The lovely and talented Veronica Gamba, Playboy’s Miss November 1983, has a need for speed and a jealous streak.


Photographed by Arny Freytag


“I’m a very jealous person. Stupid jealous. I think it’s a sickness. It’s OK for me to look at other guys but not for my boyfriend to look at other girls. It’s so sick. I should be put away!”

Isn’t that so often the case with jealousy? We covet 100% of our lover’s attention, but excuse our own inability to reciprocate it: by extension, if we are all doing this, then we must only assume that the truth is we will never, ever get that 100% of anyone’s attention, it’s impossible and we’re all just lying to each other.

I’m striving to find a positive outcome from this chain of thought. How about this. Unless you are very, very lucky, the likelihood is that no one will ever be able to snap out of their own shit and love you as much as you deserve, nor even as much as you are capable of loving yourself, so maybe treat yourself more kindly than you do? I’m going to try to pull at least that small slice of upbeat advice from the devastating reality of human isolation and make that a project in positivity. Maybe I will take myself out on a date. If I get fresh with myself, I will slap me.


“I have fantasies about being a race-car driver. It’s not only the speed, it’s the enjoyment I get out of just looking at a car. I have very strange feelings when I look at a car I like. It’s a turn-on, kind of. I’m like, awed by it. I’ve driven as fast as 120 miles an hour. It’s like I’m going to die at any second; like I’m going to explode. I used to love to drive on the autobahn. Cars go by you like — shuuum! So far, I’ve gotten only one speeding ticket, and that was for doing 42 in a 30-mile zone. It wasn’t even worth getting a ticket at that speed!” (“Princess from the Pampas,” Playboy, November 1983)

I really understand where she’s coming from. I had my license revoked when I was 19 because I sped like a maniac. I accrued too many points on my record in a one year period, absolutely all from speeding tickets. It was the “exhibitionist speed” and “reckless endangerment” ones that put me over the top, I reckon. Fucking bullshit. But I recognized the dangerous side to my obsession with vehicular shenanigans and, even after my license was eligible to be reinstated, I did not immediately pursue getting it back. I waited until I was emotionally ready to have such a potentially fatal machine in my hands. (Again, so often — the secret shadow side of our hottest passion is the potential for our destruction.)


I still go for long, remote country drives and may from time to time, if I’m alone, get the speed going a little high, but I’ve come to understand that the more appropriate, safe, and comforting thrill I get from driving is the strong sense of being in control, of choosing my own destination. Plus, I have to live for my daughter’s sake, so I don’t allow myself to push the limits of my speed any longer.

Looks like that is likely the case for Ms. Gamba these days as well; according to the wiki, Veronica “has been married twice and has a child from each marriage, a son (Christopher), born 1980 and a daughter (Melissa) born in 1987” (the wiki).

NSFW November: Avis Miller, Miss November 1970

November 22, 2009

The lovely and talented Avis Miller, Miss November 1970, was living with her parents in Union City and working as a bunny in the San Francisco Playboy club when she was selected by Hef to be an elite Jet Bunny, a stewardess on his famous private plane. I found the interview really interesting, and then I stumbled over a shitload of pictures from her pictorial, so I’m going to let the original Playboy article and spread handle this one.


Photographed by Dwight Hooker

“Now that they have 747s, traveling on the commercial airlines is more luxurious than ever,” says November Playmate Avis Miller. “But as far as I’m concerned, the Big Bunny is the only way to fly.” The Big Bunny, if you don’t already know, is Hugh M. Hefner’s $5,500,000 custom built DC9-32, the most opulent private aircraft in the world. (“Jet Bunny,” Playboy, November 1970.)


“I don’t like living in the heart of a city,” says Avis, “because I get uptight about things like crowds, noise and smog. When I was a kid, my father, a salesman, kept getting transferred — Pittsburgh, Boston, Richmond, Houston. I grew up disliking city life, I’m afraid.”


After accompanying the plane on observation flights, including the Big Bunny’s maiden trip from Chicago to Los Angeles, Avis was scheduled to attend stewardess school in April. A week before her training began, she paid a surprise visit to her brother John, an oil analyst then assaying for possible petroleum deposits near Denver. After acquainting herself with the fundamentals of oil exploration, Avis spent her time loafing, her closest companions the historical best sellers she’d taken with her — Jenny and Mary, Queen of Scots. A graduate of Arizona State University, Avis majored in history and still finds the subject fascinating.


“Stewardesses usually have to train for six weeks,” says Avis, ” but that’s because they have to learn about five different aircraft — we only had to learn about one — and their teaching is slower because the classes usually have at least 50 girls in them. The big airlines also spend a week on grooming, which the Bunnies already know.”


After learning about the DC9-32, Avis took courses in first aid, ocean survival, handling general emergencies and food preparation, then was sent to the Lake Geneva Playboy Club-Hotel for special instruction in wine selection and gourmet dining service. Miss Miller reports that work aboard the Playboy plane is a lot less hectic than on a commercial airliner. “We always have at least three Jet Bunnies on board,” she says, “and since there’s a maximum of 38 passengers, we’re able to go about our duties without rushing.”



When Avis was finally flight-qualified, she got a chance to go on what she describes as “an unbelievable trip”: She was one of five jet Bunnies who accompanied Hefner and a private party of close friends on a 31-day jaunt through Africa and Europe.

That’s so awesome. That is like seriously the trip of a lifetime. Rad. That is so cool that she got to do that.


“The Hollywood scene turns me off completely. To get famous, you have to do a lot of dumb, embarrassing things. Who needs it? Besides, I want to have kids, and the lousiest mothers are usually working actresses; they never have time for their children.”


“I’ll be happy if I can wind up with a guy who’s carefree and isn’t a slave to business. I’ll admit that that type isn’t easy to find, but I haven’t even started looking yet.”

Hef sold the Big Bunny in ’76 when he bought his mansion in Holmby Hills. It was purchased and used in the late 1970s as part of the commercial fleet of Air Mexico, according to the internet. I have no idea what’s been going on with it since then.

NSFW November – Rita Lee, Miss November 1977

November 22, 2009

Heads-up, Scorpios! (I’m looking at you, Cappy) — the lovely and talented Rita Lee, Miss November 1977, lists your sign as one of her turn-ons.


Photographed by Richard Fegley

A certain almost unstable level of insecurity and uncertainty comes across in her interview that I think translates in to these photographs. Check out her general lack of eye contact, her sidewise glances, her closed mouth, the way her hands have to be doing something. The wiki says that the photographer, Fegley, had her pose for his portfolio and even put her in a book. I guess maybe that nervous energy, that vulnerability, made her an interesting subject for more serious photography.

“I was very naïve and men took advantage of that. I always worried about what other people thought of me.” …

She says she would never have considered posing for “some of those other magazines” and that she was surprised that the Playboy people were so professional. “I didn’t know what to expect. I’d heard all sorts of things, like they photograph your body and put another girl’s head on it, and that none of the information on the girls is real. I was afraid that maybe after all the preliminary shootings they would decide my breasts weren’t big enough or something and ask me to have plastic surgery.” (“Growing Up,” Playboy, November 1977.)

She also talks in the interview about moving out and living on her own at 17, and how it was a mistake and her parents were right about her conservative upbringing. The below shot proves that Fegley got a smile out of her eventually. But it looks like it was a battle. Judging from what she said about her past and herself in her interview, I think she may have been pretty down and vulnerable during this period.


“I used to read about Marilyn Monroe. I felt as though I could identify with her. I learned something from her. Her suicide was like a warning for me.”

Shit-oh-dear, someone needs a hug and a Xanax! I am only comfortable making that joke because she is still alive and not dead like some of these other ladies. It’s actually terrible to read the interview and see the pictures because what emerges is a glimpse at this seemingly depressed, insecure woman with valid, sad anxietes about appearance and relationships, overly sensitive to the falseness inherent to human interaction, the whole ball of wax. I kind of do wish I could give her a hug. Some souls are born lost.

GOALS:
As I get older, to develop a better understanding of myself and others. To always have a fulfilling relationship with someone.

TURN-ONS:
Scorpio men, candlelit intimate dinners, swimming nude, genuine affection and trust.

TURNOFFS:
Phony people, particularly men who are attracted to women only because of looks.

Her repeated emphasis in both her data sheet and her interview on trust and wanting a relationship with someone who will look past her looks is heartrending to me. She must have really been burned in her past. I hope that she did find that fulfilling and ideal relationship, and that she married someone she really trusted, who deserved it, and lived happily ever after.

NSFW November: Sarah Elizabeth, Miss November 2006

November 21, 2009

The lovely and talented Sarah Elizabeth, aka Sarah Elizabeth Bowers, was first the Cyber Girl of the Week on Playboy‘s website in December of 2005, then April 2006’s Cyber Girl of the Month, before finally making it to the magazine’s hard copy as Playmate of the Month in November 2006. Most of the playmates from the last ten years or so are kind of ho-hum for me, but she actually seems like a real person who you can have a beer and a conversation with, so I’m down.


Photographed by Stephen Wayda

After a day in the surf Sarah heads to her favorite beach dive. “I walk in and I don’t have to tell them what I’m ordering,” she says. A cold beer lands in front of her in seconds. “There’s never more than 10 people in there. I walk in wearing jeans and flip-flops, with my hair in a ponytail, and put $5 in the jukebox. Then I’m good to go.”


And when she’s not working or lovingly releasing Moby Dick from a lure? Sarah would like to go to a game. “It’s a five-hour drive to Atlanta,” she says. “Maybe when the Braves play the Diamondbacks, my team from Arizona, I’ll drive up there in my Diamondbacks attire and get booed.” (“Southern Comfort,” Playboy, November 2006.)

This is another one of those situations where the issue was so recent that you could easily find all these pictures with a simple google images search, so I’m not going to break my neck putting up shots from the photoshoot. The whole shoot is kind of mediocre anyway, the only thing that saves it is she has a nice smile and doesn’t make the poses too porny. I don’t know what’s up with Stephen Wayda and his shitty photoshoots, but look at that shot up there. Ridiculous. Totally not up to centerfold pictorial par in my book. Well, maybe I’m being hasty. These two shots down below are somewhat interesting and kind of okay, I guess.

Anyway, that’s Sarah Elizabeth, Miss November 2006. Google her if you wish to know more, she’s all over the place.

NSFW November: Kai Brendlinger, Miss November 1964

November 21, 2009

I’m going to go ahead and let the Playboy interview with Miss November 1964, the lovely and talented Kai Bredlinger, almost totally speak for itself.


Photographed by Pompeo Posar


AMBITIONS:
Modeling.

TURN-ONS:
Men. (data sheet).

Ms. Brendlinger did get slightly more specific about that wacky “men” fetish of hers in the more detailed article that accompanied her pictorial:

She eschews the possibility of ever becoming a career woman and anxiously looks toward the day when she can move to the wide-open spaces with her special brand of male, who will be “tall, fair, and smart enough to know he doesn’t have to prove he’s brighter than I.” (“Hallelujah, the Hills,” Playboy, November 1964)


TURNOFFS:
Dirt — I can’t stand anything dirty.

FAVORITE BOOKS:
Only the Bible and I still don’t understand it.

No kiddin’.

NSFW November: Claudia Jennings, Miss November 1969

November 21, 2009

The lovely and talented Claudia Jennings was Playboy‘s Miss November 1969, and Playmate of the Year in 1970. Her birth name was Mary Eileen Chesterton. If it was me, I’d’ve changed my name too — but I would have just switched my first name to Chesty. Can you dig it? “Hi, I’m Chesty. Chesty Chesterton.” That is a name you can take straight to the mother effing bank!


Photographed by Pompeo Posar

Her father was a sales manager and her mother was a college professor. She was raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and later moved to Evanston, Illinois, where she graduated from high school in 1968. Later that year, she joined the Hull House theater company in Chicago and got a job as a receptionist at the offices of Playboy magazine (the wiki).


Claudia feels it’s necessary for her, at this point in her career, to move to one coast or the other, for the Windy City’s theatrical opportunities are limited. “Every actress has her particular skills and drawbacks,” says Claudia. “It’s a show-business axiom that if you really want to overcome your limitations, you go to New York, but if you’re satisfied with your skills, then you’re ready for Hollywood. The reasoning is that with a stage play, you get to work with the same material over a longer period of time than you do with a film, so you have more of a chance to improve.” (“Acting Playmate,” Playboy, November 1969.)

Five years later she was unemployed, single, and depressed; ten years later, she was dead. If you ask me, she chose the wrong coast. I think her sadly short life took a left turn at Albuquerque when she left Chicago and went to that shithole Los Angeles. In Hollywood, she appeared on an episode of The Brady Bunch in 1973 and lived with songwriter Bobby Hart (actual birth name Robert Luke Harshman; do you suppose they called each other by their real names when they were at home, or went with the show biz handles? oh, I fervently hope he called her Chesty…) from 1970-1975. He was the less handsome half of the almost-kinda-famous songwriting duo Boyce and Hart.

I assume the boyfriend got her the part on The Brady Bunch because the Monkees and the Brady Bunch appeared in each other’s shit a lot and Boyce and Hart wrote (and sometimes performed) most of the tunes for the Monkees — please tell me it is not news to you that the Monkees were a sham act developed to be a sort of made-for-tv-Beatles — including “Last Train to Clarksville” and the show’s theme (“Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees,” etc). They also penned such hits as “I’m Not Your Stepping Stone” and “Come a Little Bit Closer.” Hart broke up with her in ’75 and, living alone in much smaller quarters than she had been accustomed to, she got super-depressed, turned to a party crowd, and started regularly doing heroin and coke.

On the career side, throughout the 70’s, Claudia appeared in films, mainly just drive-in horror movie flicks. The wiki claimed they called her Queen of the B’s but I’m a huge B-movie guy and I have never heard this. I mean, I recognized her, but I didn’t think of her particularly as the queen. And the wiki has it somewhat wrong: I wouldn’t really call them B movies, because I associate that with an earlier genre of film, a la Ed Wood.

The types of 1970’s movies that Claudia was in are more like cult classics, thinly veiled excuses for weirdo softcore porn. Think of it as early skinemax, or very lite spatterporn. Personal favorites are Unholy Rollers about the motherfucking all-girl ROLLER DERBY (sorry, I get excited, cause, you know … sk8 or die), Deathsport, which takes place in the year 3000, and Gator Bait, which I believe needs no explanation.

In ’79, she auditioned to replace Kate Jackson on Charlie’s Angels but good old Aaron Spelling and company were not fans of her Playboy credit and gave the job to Shelley Hack instead. (Hack’s turn as Tiffany Welles almost sank the show and she was fired in 1980 anyways, so whatever.)

On October 3, 1979, almost a decade to the day after her Playboy pictorial hit the newsstands, Claudia was driving to the home of her on-again, off-again boyfriend Stan Herman in Malibu to pick up her shit cause they had broken up again when her Volkswagen Beetle was hit by a van and she was killed. She was thirty years old.

NSFW November: Monica Tidwell, Miss November 1973

November 20, 2009

Forgot that I’m going to run out of time and need to squeeze in some quadruple plays for the playmates lest we miss a Miss November. This one is super-special, so enjoy!

When the lovely and talented Monica Tidwell was born, the second issue of Playboy was fresh on the newsstands. This means that when she posed for the magazine in 1973 at age 19, she was the very first playmate to be younger than the magazine itself.


Photographed by Dwight Hooker and Bill Frantz.

This is a great spread. The photographers captured something very vulnerable and real in Ms. Tidwell (for my money the most beautiful Miss November yet), a sensitivity and gentle eroticism that lacks in many of the other shoots we’ve seen this month.

This is further carried through by the ambient lighting, the natural styling of her hair, and the focus on handmade, organically fashioned articles and materials like wood frames and wool blankets.

The whole shoot just has this really airy, sunlit, authentic, natural feel to it. It’s special.

Though she was discovered in Chicago (seems like they really had an active scouting scene there, doesn’t it? maybe because that’s where Hef is from? I guess one of these days I should look up the actual history of the magazine, huh), Ms. Tidwell was born in Shreveport, Louisiana and grew up in Georgia.

Like almost every other Southerner I have met or heard of, she had literary leanings when questioned about her ambitions. I don’t know what it is about the South that makes every person from there drip with this deeply poetic appreciation of nature and a playful love of language, but it seems to be a Thing.

I have met and loved so many great friendohs from the South, and they all have a beautiful, expressive outlook on life. (Dik and the LBC, I am looking at you two poetic ginger geniuses in particular!)


“One of my great ambitions in life is to write a novel as good as [Wolfe’s] Look Homeward, Angel. My second great ambition is to make a movie with Ken Russell and Oliver Reed.” (“Ubiquitous Miss,” Playboy, November 1973)

According to the wiki, that dream of making a movie with Ken Russell (visionary director of The Who’s Tommy) is half coming true.

Tidwell is currently the primary producer of the off-Broadway play Mind Game in New York City. Ken Russell will direct the play and Keith Carradine will star.


Hands down my favorite picture from this pictorial.

Good on her! An ethereal, Autumnal little beauty (I told you redheaded Miss Novembers are I’m pretty sure a Thing), she reminds me of Sissy Spacek or Bridget Fonda and Jodie Foster. All peaches and cream and spattery freckles with strawberry blonde hair, but then there is something rabbity and tough about them, like biting on tinfoil, something driven and hardscrabble, determined when it comes to their quiet goals. Sorry to project emotive qualities and wax poetic. I just love country girls.

NSFW November: Serria Tawan, Miss November 2002 inadvertently brings out the rabid ANTM commentator in me — whoops!

November 20, 2009

Playboy’s Miss November 2002 was actress and model Serria Tawan, seen here in the centerfold posed as a voyeur.

Photographed by Arny Freytag and Stephen Wayda

Note how the light glinting off of the leg of the telescope in the foreground points up a strong diagonal beginning from the bottom left of the composition, that is then intersected by a cross diagonal from the upper left created by her posture and her hand holding one of her braids: together they make an arrow which draws the eye to the undressing couple in the window of the building across the street, who are positioned just above and to the right of the focal attention point of her breasts, making it even more difficult to miss them as the final critical element of the photograph. As your eye moves from left to right, reading the composition, it tells a story: there is a girl. There is a telescope. The girl is using the telescope to look at the couple.

The centerfold was a really good composition. The rest is all over the damned place. Any type of theme with set dressing, poses, or costuming is almost totally absent. Maybe the raincoat is to hint at her being a flasher to boot? Not sure. But it doesn’t get picked back up again even though it’s a fun little kicky erotic detail. Missed opportunity in my book.

From her data sheet

WHEN I GET OLDER:
I want a harem of guys like Hef has women. I want them all diverse. Variety is the spice of life for me.

Get it, girl! I like this lady’s style. If you’re looking to join that harem, you can contact her via her profile on the myspace. In several places on that page, Serria directs you to a website, http://askserria.com, but it is not up and running yet, as far as I can tell.

While the braids are lovely, I like her even better in the above pic, with a gently relaxed weave. She looks younger and very soft and romantic. Even without the bangs, I think this look works better for her than the long braids, and it seems she agrees, as she is apparently rocking it on the reg these days (see below). The only trouble is that it makes her look a lot like phony-evil-queen-witch “ANTM” Cycle 9 winner Saleisha Stowers, who my sister-in-law, husband, and I all unilaterally despise.


Left: Serria Tawan. Right: Saleisha Stowers.

That girl and a competitor, Bianca Golden, were unbelievably cruel to standout contestant Heather Kuzmich of Valpariso, Indiana, who had Asperger’s Syndrome for crissake and still mopped the floor with their jealous asses until Go-Sees, which she only blew because she was not being properly aided. Yes, I have every detail of every cycle of the Tyra Banks reality show “America’s Next Top Model” memorized, and may the good god strike me dead if I ever stop loving the parade of tears, catfights, and girl-girl showers that comprise that gory but gorgeous grand guginol.

Anyway, Saleisha and Bianca were rude, catty, and sneaky about Heather, not to mention super-jealous and totally ignorant of the qualities that made her outshine them week after week, and their insecurities drove them to taunt her and talk about her behind her back like they were twelve and not on national fucking television. Because of that I will forever despise their fake sticky-sweet smiles. Although I was on the Bergie’s website a while ago — just window-shopping; like I could possibly afford something from their store right now — and I know for a fact I recognized Heather modelling some of the dresses in the pictures, so in their snotty, sabotaging, difference-hating faces: time has told, success-wise.

Wow, I think I might need to write some more about Top Model another day. It would appear I have Things to Say.

In other news, Kristy Swanson was on the cover of this one. I have never even seen one episode of the television series, so to me it is she who will always be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Even though vampires are lame, passe, and ridiculous as all hell, that movie is so great.

NSFW November: Monique St. Pierre, Miss November 1978

November 20, 2009

The lovely and talented Monique St. Pierre began her Playboy career as Miss November 1978, but she has gone on to achieve much greater positions within the company.


Photographed by Richard Fegley

A clear case of the carpet not matching the drapes, which for my money is just plain false advertising, but the woman has a very interesting background and is a skilled businessperson so I’m not going to throw too many stones.


My individuality is very important to me. I cannot stand to be dominated and I cannot stand being mediocre at what I’m doing.” Right now, she’s working on being the best model she can be, and she’s studying to be the best actress she can be. “I’ve been studying acting here in Denver, and I love it. I’ve signed with Willhelmina in New York and I’ll be moving there soon. I’m going to find the best New York acting instuctor I can and devote myself to the art until I know I have the ability to take a major role in a play or a movie.” (“Unique Monique,” Playboy, November 1978)

The Wiesbaden, Germany-born Ms. St. Pierre was indeedy represented by Wilhelmina Models at the time of her interview for her appearance as Miss November, but they shitcanned her after this issue went to print. I am surprised by that, given the number of playmates who Wilhelmina has represented before, during, and after Playboy shoots — Stephanie Adams (Miss November 1992), e.g. — so whatever. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Monique came back to Playboy and took a job with the Playboy Channel, which at the time was just starting out. Besides being an executive, she also worked as crew on many of her projects, continued to model and appear in Playboy videos, etc, –even some cameos on “The Girls Next Door”– and, in addition to doing the money-side of production, she also enjoys costume-designing.


One source of Monique’s admirable confidence is hypnosis. “My life last year was moving more quickly than I could handle. I desperately wanted to relax. By coincidence, I met a hypnotherapist, who put me under, then suggested that I wake up feeling calm and refreshed. I stayed under for three hours, just loving the feeling. Then when he brought me out, I felt great. He hypnotized me out of a cold once; just made my fever vanish.”


We wondered if a strong-willed person like herself wasn’t afraid to submit to hypnosis. “Not at all. You really won’t do anything you don’t want to do. As an experiment, the hypnotist suggested I meet him in his hotel room at a certain time. Of course, I didn’t show up.”

Um, I do not claim to be an expert judge of character, but I’m not sure that a hypnotist who suggests “as an experiment” that you meet him in a hotel room is someone you should see again. Just sayin’.

A rare instance of the centerfold being the cover model as well; I can tell from those 70’s-rific suede boots Monique is wearing that the cover photo’s from the same set of shots as the ones in the pictorial. Also, dig the story at the bottom left: “Who Killed Jimmy Hoffa and Why,” with an exclamation point instead of a question mark. Like the top minds at Playboy had solved the mystery and the Feds could now rest easy. Awesome.

NSFW November: Dianne Danford, Miss November 1961

November 20, 2009

We’ll kick off today with Miss November 1961, the lovely and talented Dianne Danford. She was discovered and asked to pose for Playboy while shooting skeet at a range in Los Angeles (“Venus with Arms,” Playboy, November 1961).


Photographed by Mario Casilli

Dianne — a 23-year-old, emerald-eyed, honey-tressed, fresh-visaged fair belle to arms — gets herself to a gunnery for sweet sessions of not-so-silent skeet shooting whenever she can break away from her workaday chores modeling the latest in bathing regalia, for which her 5’7″, 120-lb. frame is perfectly suited. Living with her mother, father and brother close by Hollywood’s celluloid dream factories, Dianne presents a pretty paradox — she couldn’t care less about getting her face and form before a movie camera.

That bit about not desiring to appear before a movie camera may have been true at the time of this shoot, but in fact Dianne did end up with a movie credit under her belt. She appeared as Connie in 1966’s Weekend of Fear. The movie was written, directed, and produced by a Mr. Joe Danford (a connection, maybe?).

Good grief, he was also the editor. Did he do sets and gripping, too? Cook and serve the food at the craft table? Master of the wardrobe? Gaffer? Now I’m just being cruel. Gaffers aren’t people. Anyway, the movie is the sole credit for both Danfords.

According to Sandra Brennan of allmovie.com, the picture’s plot runs like this:

In this horror movie, an insane widow desires a young lover and decides to steal him away from his own lover by employing a crazed deaf-mute to frighten her away. The fellow does too good a job and the girl dies.

Of course. Happens all the time.

While she does state in her data sheet that her ambition in life is “to be happy,” no Irish need apply: Ms. Danford lists among her turnoffs “being poor.”

Sick left-field burn on my own heritage!

Today is a triple-playmate-play day, so stay tuned for mas y mas Miss Novembers. My gift to you. Think nothing of it!

NSFW November: Pamela Stein, Miss November 1987

November 19, 2009

From the snow-peaked mountains of Canada to the warm beaches of the sunny south Eastern seaboard of the United States, the third and final Miss November of today, the lovely and talented Pamela Stein, appeared as the centerfold in the November 1987 issue of Playboy.


Photographed by Stephen Wayda

Though she was born in Syracuse, New York, Ms. Stein was raised in “the part of Florida you don’t see on Miami Vice” (Playboy data sheet). Like fellow Miss November Shannon Tweed, Pamela trends toward them there ol’ rock stars (happens all the time). She is married to Cheap Trick’s Robin Zander.

Both of their two children, a girl and a boy, are named Robin. I guess that … makes it easy to remember. There is really no excuse for blanking on one of your kids’ name when they’re both the same.
Oh, snap. A quick check of the imdb tells me that the boy is Robin, Jr. and the girl is Robin-Sailor. In my face; those are totally different!

Actually, I do not want to particularly make fun too much because she seems like a pretty rocking chick. Cute, upbeat, and a good sense of humor.


She’s not one to get by on looks alone. On her Data Sheet, under “Goals and Aspirations,” she wrote. “To find the largest cockroach in Florida.”

You see, there’s this contest for, yes, the largest cockroach, and Pam has her eye out for likely candidates. “But don’t put that in the magazine or people will be sending me their cockroaches. I want to win fair and square.” — “Winning Streak”, Playboy, November 1987.


Pam told us with a completely straight face that if she couldn’t land a role on a TV soap opera, she’d settle for the job of being Ollie North’s next secretary. As we walked past a construction site to a chorus of whistles, she expressed gratitude that “someone [was] upholding the traditional values.” These lines were delivered with a megawatt twinkle that could stand up to hours of interrogation.


“I get the apple-pie jobs. I never get to look glamorous.” She did two McDonald’s ads; her friends assumed she was working for the local franchise. “Sounds like an exciting life, doesn’t it? Now you know why I answered the call for Playboy!”

Ms. Stein presently lives in Safety Harbor, Florida with her aforementioned fam, and, as far as I can tell, has never gotten to be Oliver North’s secretary. Aw. A dream deferred.

NSFW November: Sylvie Garant, Miss November 1979

November 19, 2009

Okay, I did some math and it turns out I actually have to do three a day if I’m going to get all the Miss Novembers in before the end of the month (I think I’m even going to have to quadruple on two days). So here we go!

Photographed by Richard Fegley

The lovely and talented Sylvie Garant, Playboy’s Miss November 1979, landed in the magazine after submitting her picture to the Great Playmate Hunt, a contest which was held for Playboy’s twenty-fifth anniversary.

The second Canadian o’ the day, Sylvie’s later career credits include co-hosting duties with Alex Trebek on the game show “The $128,000 Question” (I guess they wanted to out-do “the $64,000 Question,” or is that a Canadian conversion thing?) and, later, a similar job with Monty Hall on the game show “The Joke’s On Us.”

Ms. Garant has only recently gotten onto the convention and public appearance circuit. Here is a picture of her taken August 2009 at the Chicago Glamourcon from the official site of the incomparable Dolores Del Monte (Miss March 1954), a super-awesome vintage model who is still rockin’ in the free world.


Sylvie Garant, left, and Dolores Del Monte

Dolores says in her caption that it was Sylvie’s first Glamourcon:

Sunday our last day of the Chicago Glamourcon, with Sylvie Garant, Nov. 1979. A too short get together with this new Playmate sister. Her 1st time at Glamourcon!

I think it is adorable that Miss March 1954 is a seasoned convention-goer who is showing Miss November 1979 the ropes. I don’t know why, I just love that.

Check out this final pic from the blog of Candace Collins Jordan (Miss December 1979): it features a couple of the playmates who’ve been highlighted here in the last few weeks, and a couple who will be coming up soon. Spot the Miss Novembers!

Left to right: Sylvie Garant (Miss November 1979); Patti Connors, nee McGuire, (Miss November 1976); Candace Collins Jordan (Miss December 1979); Laura Lyons (Miss February 1976); Monica Tidwell (Miss November 1973); Janet Lupo (Miss November 1975); and Dede Lind (Miss August 1967), who you may recall is the roommate of Lisa Baker (Miss November 1966) (not pictured).

NSFW November: Danielle de Vabre, Miss November 1971

November 19, 2009

Playboy’s Miss Novembrrrrr 1971, Danielle de Vabre, came from the frozen North of Canadialand, where she was a lovely and talented bunny at the Montreal club.


Photographed by Dwight Hooker

She grew up skiing in Canada, but, after graduating from high school, she and her parents agreed she could take a year off and go to Colorado to be a ski instructor there.

Danielle’s parents agreed that, before beginning her English-literature studies at a Montreal college, she should have her dream adventure in the Western U.S. “My parents knew that if I started school right away, I would resent being there and, consequently, my concentration would suffer.” There was one condition in their agreement, however: Danielle was to finance the trip herself (“Snow Job,” Playboy, November 1971).

Yes, it is so often the case that concentration in college suffers because all you can think about is skiing. Thank goodness her parents were aware of this educational pitfall.

Naturally, the next logical step was to become a Playboy bunny. Pfft — duh! Everyone knows that’s how you get money to go to Colorado and become a ski instructor. Story as old as time.

For the next few months, Danielle worked as a Bunny while waiting to hear from the Colorado resorts to which she’d applied. Finally, she received a positive reply from the Steamboat Springs ski school’s Skeeter Werner, sister of the late Olympic skier Bud Werner.

Oh, hey, aging rich plane passenger. Coffee, tea, or Danielle?

AMBITIONS
To become an airline stewardess. I’d also like to study interior design and fine arts.
MY IDEAL MAN
Age does not matter, as long as he has character.

I just kind of feel like those two statements are related.

Though I of course assume that all her dreams came true and she is doubtless skiing down some snowy slope in her airline stewardess uniform while sketching an interior design and dictating a novel into a tape recorder, I absolutely came up triple goose eggs on searches for what Ms. de Vabre is really up to these days. If you know, drop me a line!

NSFW November: Paige Young, Miss November 1968

November 18, 2009


Photographed by Peter Gowland

“Painting for a living is a struggle. I have to work at it, but at least my time is my own and I’m working for myself — not for some impersonal corporation.”


About the only trend that leaves her cold is pop [art]: “It’s real and it says something about today’s culture — but I wouldn’t waste my paint on it. I can do without the pop scene in general; it gives me a headache.”


No fan of the far-out fads and plastic pleasures that abound in California, Miss November prefers such traditional alfresco activities as invigorating romps along the shore and peaceful strolls through the woods.


“If people would just sit down and really talk to, instead of at, each other, I’m sure they’d be a lot happier” (“Like Young,” Playboy, November 1968).

Not your usual playmate — besides eloquently hating on corporations and discussing her love of Whitman and Thoreau, Ms. Young also stated in her data sheet that, though she was well-known among her friends for her gourmet cooking, her real ambition was to be a successful painter, and that she hoped to one day study in Paris.

From her data sheet:

MY FRIENDS KNOW:
I’m creative, intense, ambitious, perceptive, uninhibited and very natural.

MY WEAK SPOT:
My desire to be alone. It’s probably selfish.

Paige Young killed herself with an overdose of sleeping pills July 13, 1974. She was thirty years old.

NSFW November: Holly Witt, Miss November 1995

November 18, 2009

I’ll be honest: Miss November 1995, Holly Witt, mainly bores the crap out of me, and I feel like Playboy did not put their best effort forward with this pictorial’s disjointed themes, nor did they demand enough of the model.


Photography by Arny Freytag and Stephen Wayda
I just feel like this shoot could have been done better. I’m surprised Arny Freytag was involved. Possibly he only did the centerfold and this Wayda character did the rest.

The kiddie pool picture is actually pretty good. And the one below of her in the salon chair with her hand to her head is okay. But the rest come off wooden to me and look like something from a much cheaper magazine. It’s a shame that they let her get away with just doing the kind of arched back, pouty mouth thing, because I think she was capable of more. Some more stringently unusal or less stiff poses could have made the shoot kind of this interesting and erotic, challenging look at the trope of the slutty housewife: the set dressing and pastel but somehow lurid, vivid colors would have worked great with that.

Instead, because she was allowed to go with Porn 101 posing of chipmunk face and out-thrust breasts (not that there is anything wrong with that pose in its appropriate context), the shoot just falls in to pornographic fantasy pictures instead of doing the more dynamic and interesting thing by elevating it a level further and erotically, cleverly referring to that genre, rather than crassly being it. Does this make sense?

Anyway, fuck this shoot. The rest of the text is going to be quotes from an interview that also ran in this issue by contributing editor Lawrence Gobel with none other than superbomb flyass mothafucka Mr. Harvey Keitel.


PLAYBOY: You must be aware of how people react to you. You’ve developed a reputation as a powerful actor willing to dare exposure.
KEITEL: I’m smiling now as you say dare. I mean, that’s what I do. I don’t know what to say, except that it comes naturally to me. You want to call it daring? OK. I look at it as being.



KEITEL: Here’s a man who is doing the job of a pimp and a girl who is working as a prostitute. It’s monstrous, it’s horrible. But that wasn’t my approach to it. My approach was as a working man. Often, pimps are brilliant people caught up in life’s misfortunes. It’s like this whole debate going on about the welfare system: Is it the fault of the poor or of their circumstances? I believe a great deal of it has to do with their circumstances, not just because they are irresponsible.


PLAYBOY: How could Reservoir Dogs have gone further?
KEITEL: Perhaps there was some way to make the universal quest more obvious to an audience.

PLAYBOY: You may have a point—most people saw it as a violent movie, not one of some Arthurian quest.
KEITEL: I never saw it as a violent film. … I see it more as a story about a man who is in need of nourishing a younger man, of being a father figure, of being an example. It’s a quest we’re all on.

You can read the full interview here, which I strongly recommend because Keitel mercilessly fucks with Gobel the entire time; he is enigmatic and a dick and just all-around brooking no publicity machine bullshit. He is the consummate Man. I love him so well.

In closing and to bring it back to the subject of this entry, I will merely add that if you are on a date with the lovely and talented Ms. Witt and are thinking of impressing her with a story about Pythagoras or Fermat, shut your piehole, because she lists among her turn-offs “math and history.” Awesome.

NSFW November: Janet Lupo, Miss November 1975

November 17, 2009

As I mentioned before, I have more playmates than days in the month so I’m doubling up today and pretty much every day ’til the end of November; can’t miss a Miss, that would be a tragic oversight.

The lovely and talented Janet Lupo began as a bunny in Hoboken, New Jersey, but was persuaded to pose as the centerfold for the November, 1975 issue of Playboy.


Photographed by Pompeo Posar.

For my money, she looks like a more bummed-out, more stacked version of Faye Valentine. (If you don’t know who that is, I recommend that you don’t google her even at all if you are at work.) Anyway, I’ve been crunching some numbers and I’m pretty sure there are a disproportionate number of redheaded Miss Novembers, but I’ll do a final tally at the end of the month.

Quite the tan for a Jersey girl, but I guess they got the shore. And it looks like she has been following Sophia Loren’s advice that if a lady wants curves she ought to eat lots and lots of spaghetti, so good on her for that! From Ms. Lupo’s official site: “Janet is 5’6″ and measures 39-25-36 (100% Natural) and is of Italian/Czech/Irish descent. She is currently living on the East Coast with her son, whom she absolutely adores.”

If you are into astrological bunk, Janet is an Aquarius with Scorpio rising and moon in Taurus. That probably means there is a list of attributes about her that could apply to anyone with an open mind, and she should do something generic like weigh risks today before making decisions, which no one ever thinks to do unless the horoscope says to, right? Boy, I’m grouchy about the zodiac today. I guess my Mars is in retrograde or some kind of bullshit.


It was April 1974 when I drove up to Playboy’s Great Gorge Resort hotel in McAfee, NJ. I didn’t have an appointment with the ‘Bunny Mother,’ but that didn’t stop me from pretending as if I did. The security guard called the ‘Bunny Mother’ on the phone and told her I was waiting to meet with her for our interview. To my surprise he said, “Sandy, the ‘Bunny Mother’ will see you now.” After the interview, she told me she usually telephones you within two weeks if you’re to be hired as a ‘Bunny’ but in this instance she said, “I’m hiring you on the spot cause you have ‘chutzpah’.” She knew all along that I didn’t have an appointment, but she never let on until that moment. — Janet Lupo, official bio.

Today, Ms. Lupo travels to Glamourcon and is available for other public appearances. She has worked previously as a bartender and real estate agent, and presently works as a cosmetologist. You can order autographed photos and trading cards from her official site.

NSFW November: Joan Staley, Miss November 1958

November 17, 2009

Fresh from the pages of Playboy, the lovely and talented Joan Staley is your Miss November, 1958.


Photographed by Ron Vogel and Lawrence Schiller

A model, actress, and all-around good-time gal, Ms. Staley is the Playmate to whom I referred earlier this month when covering Donna Perry (Miss November 1994; if you have been following along, you may remember her as the naked preppie). Joan Staley is Donna Perry’s grandmother-in-law.

So I’m putting this post together, and I keep thinking, “This chick looks really familiar,” and finally, when cruising the imdb, I realized why. She had much darker hair, but she was totally in the classically rad Don Knotts movie The Ghost and Mister Chicken.

Like that alone would not be awesome enough, she had an uncredited walk-on in the unescapable, ubiquitous, widely-known film version of B’fast @ T’s featuring one Audrey Hepburn.

AND, last but never, ever least, Joan starred as Okie Annie (get it?) in two episodes of Batman in 1966: “Come Back, Shame,” and “It’s How You Play the Game” (Season 2, Episodes 26 and 27; original air dates November 30, 1966 and December 1, 1966, respectively).

As Okie Annie, Joan Staley portrayed the hayseed moll for Shame, a cowboy-redneck type villain hellbent on creating a truck so fast that it can outrun the Batmobile. Shame was played by Cliff Robertson, most recently seen as Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben in the new Spider-Man franchise films. Wow! Holy wonderful career in my book!

According to her Playboy blurb, she was born in an airplane between France and Germany. That sounds okay until you consider it was 1940 and she was the daughter of a Navy chaplain, so it was probably not exactly a commercial flight. Crazy.

These days, Joan is a counselor who specializes in outreach programs for troubled teen boys with a group called Chaplain’s Eagles, and she is also very active in consumer affairs. The imdb says that she served 2 years as national director of Fight Inflation Together, which, according to a random book on Google books about Gerald Ford, is a “women’s consumer group.” The book refers to the group in the context of a successful meat boycott mounted by Fight Inflation Together in 1973. No word on if they are still together and fighting inflation today.