PSA: No one wants to fuck you. Sorry it had to come to graffiti on plywood but you just weren’t getting the message.
via. It looks as though someone tried to cross it out to make it read, “EVERYONE” but the original artist returned to merely underscore “no” in reply.
Why This Is Relevant: a daring and austere one-act ripped from the headlines.
Scene: Gas station.
Dramatis personae: Good ol’ E., pluckily on line to pick up smokes for panda on another Manic Monday; dark hair, blue dress with white polka dots, determined expression — let’s have a quick trip. Man in inside-out shirt, black-on-black Pittsburgh Pirates hat, leaning heavily on walker with a basket attached: the basket is filled with an 18-pack of beer stood tall, buffeted by two 40 oz. bottles of beer. The man is visibly swaying from drinking already. He has meth face and flicky eyes. The overall effect is not pitiable but emphatically creepy. Cashier, not important but an ugly person should play her because she is absolutely not good at keeping her customers from getting in to weird situations.
MAN: I like your dress.
E: Thank you.
MAN: It looks good on you.
E: Thanks.
MAN: I like … how it looks.
E: …
MAN: I’ve got a cab. I’m not driving.
E: Cool — you a big Pirates fan?
MAN: What?
E: Your hat.
MAN: I have this hat.
E: Right.
MAN: For the Pirates?
E: Yeah, the Phillies are doing so well this year, it must kind of be tough for Pirates fans to take. Rivalries and all, right?
MAN: I think … I like … the A’s.
E: Okay.
MAN: You’re pretty. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen … (long pause) today.
E: Well — thanks.
MAN: Can I call you?
E: I need to think about that.
CASHIER: I can help who’s next.
MAN: You want to go in front of me?
E: VERY MUCH.
Scene.
To quote Liz Lemon, “Another successful interaction with a male!”
When I overhauled my life last year, I discovered that I am not a big guy for the television (except for 30 Rock, though even that I just periodically catch up on using the hulu), so I — without fanfare or officialdom but just mainly and casually — quit it nearly altogether in favor of holing up under the covers with a book or lurking in the batcave on the computer. However, the one show I stopped watching but have never stopped thinking about is Lost, the final episode of which airs tonight.
Nevermind the crisp and bullocks. Give me that rum. Mmm — Dharma Initiative-y.
I’ve mainly kept up this year and now I find myself looking down the barrel of the final episode. The thing is, almost literally everything in my life has changed since I first heard about and, a few months later when it premiered, began watching this show. I mean everything. Like, other than my gender, I have changed pretty much every other aspect of my life. I’ve had a child, earned a degree, married, moved, moved again, split up, shook up, sometimes I even throw up, overhauled career and self, set new goals, I mean, jeebus — I’ve been all over the map physically and emotionally since I first tuned in to this program.
L to R: Almanzo Wilder, Nellie Olson, and Laura Ingalls “Half-Pint” Wilder.
(Not pictured in the above shot: Velociraptor cyborgs and the ghost of Abraham Lincoln’s clone. Yes, clone — the Good One. The Evil One went rogue and was shot by government agent and island native John Wilkes Boothe. Oh, historical snap! Eventually they killed the Good One too and his ghost haunts the island now because it is all just Agent Mulder’s dream.) I remember one time a friend telling me that he’d hit rock bottom and I agreed I’d done the same — but we also concurred that suicide was for neither of us an option because then we would never know what happens on the last episode of Lost. Does Gilligan pick Ginger? Or Mary Anne?? Aw, just kiddin’, rabid Losties. He picks the Skipper, duh!
Who is a pretty princess?? Daniel Faraday is a pretty princess! I ♥ this character in an embarassing way, the sort of way for which I would mercilessly mock others.
It is sobering to consider how different a person I am now than I was when this interest began. I cannot even begin to count the ways, and it’s actually starting to freak me out. So now I am preparing to throw on pyjamas, pick up pepperoni pizza, and slide on down to Gorgeous George’s with the kidlet to watch the finale of Lost, and, in a wider sense, take another step toward closing what has been a very tumultuous chapter in my life.
Catch you on the flip side. (“See you in another life, brutha.”)
Spoiler: I can’t believe Darth Vader is Charles Widmore’s father.
30 Rock, “Black Light Attack!” Season 4, Episode 10.
When Liz and Danny (Cheyenne Jackson) further their relationship, Jack becomes jealous and plans to break them apart. Meanwhile, Tracy recruits Sue (Sue Galloway) into his entourage, and Jenna auditions for a role on Gossip Girl. (the wiki)
Went to Alice this weekend with Special K, as I mentioned, and there was a trailer for the upcoming sequel to Tron. I’d heard about this before and was apprehensive, but this was my first time seeing any material from the new film.
Color me wrong. It looks amazing and I can’t wait. I know what I’m doing December 17th!
When I overhauled my life last year, I discovered that I am not a big guy for the television (except for 30 Rock, though even that I just periodically catch up on using the hulu), so I — without fanfare or officialdom but just mainly and casually — quit it nearly altogether in favor of holing up under the covers with a book or lurking in the batcave on the computer. However, the one show I stopped watching but have never stopped thinking about is Lost, the final season of which begins tonight.
Nevermind the crisp and bullocks. Give me that rum. Mmm — Dharma Initiative-y.
I had not seen the last few episodes of last season, but the rabid fandom of the show means that excruciatingly detailed episode descriptions (and conspiracy theories) abound on its very own wiki, so I read all those and I feel pretty caught up — and both smug and confused as to what it all means.
Who is a pretty princess?? Daniel Faraday is a pretty princess! I ♥ this character in an embarassing way, the sort of way for which I would mercilessly mock others.
The plan for tonight’s reintroduction of E’s regularly viewing television, just like an actual social human being, is this. Gorgeous George and the kidlet and I are going to meet up for dinner at the pub, come back here and enjoy us some geeky season premiere action, and then I am hitting the hay early because I have my first sub job tomorrow, about which I am very nervous. Catch you on the flip side! (“See you in another life, brutha.”)
Edit: “4 8 15 16 23 42 are all Yankee retired numbers.” via RiverAveBlues on the twitter, one of my most trusted, beloved, good-humored and APPARENTLY like-minded baseball resources.
(Reading Jack’s childhood list of life goals) Liz: There’s only one left — “Be friends with Batman.”
Jack: There’s still a couple of hours. Jonathan, could you get Adam West’s agent on the phone, please?
Adam West: (introducing Jack at his birthday party) I can’t stay long, I’m on a case. The Penguin is in town.
(the guests stare at him in silence)
Adam West: (gestures to Jack for money)
— 30 Rock, “Apollo, Apollo.”
Liz: I never get put on a jury. I wear my Princess Leia costume and they dismiss me immediately.
Liz: I don’t think it’s fair to ask me to be on a jury because I can read thoughts.
Judge: Dismissed!
But that was in Chicago. More recently, the character was called to jury duty in New York. This ensued.
Other references abound. Here’s a few.
(Liz Lemon talks with Jenna Maroney about being asked out by the good looking guy that works for MSNBC upstairs, whom they refer to as “The Hair”)
Liz: I had to say yes. I mean, he looked at me with those crazy handsome guy eyes. It was like the Death Star tractor beam when the Falcon —
Jenna: No, Liz! Do not talk about stuff like that on your date. Guys like that do not like Star Trek.
Liz: Wars — Star Wars!
Liz: (videochatting with boyfriend Floyd) Is that how far apart my eyes are?! I look like Admiral Ackbar!
edit: The Gentleman just found me this on thinkgeek.com: a kids’ Tauntaun sleeping bag.
I will not truly rest until I have one. It even has intestines decorating the lining. (I thought they smelled bad on the etc) Siiiiiiiiiigh.
The Thought Experiment 