Posts Tagged ‘anna nicole smith’

Flashback Friday — Audrey Hepburn Half-Day; “It happens, Texas Ghost Sex edition”

April 8, 2010

Welcome to Flashback Friday, because I’m actually not here at all, but rather on the road to Arcata with my Special K! Today’s Flashback is: Audrey Hepburn Half-Day, which was roughly six months ago.

Here’s how it all began:


“A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.” –Anna Nicole Smith


Perfectly reasonable.


I’m serious. She actually made a lot of sense to me. Like watching a modern live version of Sound and the Fury or something. A real Holly Golightly, as Tru originally envisioned her in the B @ T’s novel, not as the patron saint of anorexics brought to screen. Miss ya, Twinks. I hope Heaven is a wild party.

It happens: All apologies

September 12, 2009




Audrey Hepburn, I am sorry that I adapted Alfred Hitchcock’s criticism of you yesterday when I called you the patron saint of anorexics. It was totally not okay of me to call you out like that. I don’t know what came over me and I heartily apologize.

You’re a special spirit, a fellow brunette and fellow guilty smoker, and I’ve always thought you had a certain style, and I’ve always bet you used to tap your collarbone when you were bored in line at the ladies’ just like me, and, well, long story short, I hope that we’re still cool. Sorry again.

I thought maybe today I will schedule some you-centric ghost posts to try to make it up to you (not that, from what I gather, you were much of a one for kowtowing and attention…but still). Okay?

It happens: Texas ghost sex edition

September 11, 2009


“A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.” –Anna Nicole Smith


Perfectly reasonable.


I’m serious. She actually made a lot of sense to me. Like watching a modern live version of Sound and the Fury or something. A real Holly Golightly, as Tru originally envisioned her in the B @ T’s novel, not as the patron saint of anorexics brought to screen. Miss ya, Twinks. I hope Heaven is a wild party.