Asked and answered: Mitch Hedberg heroism edition

Band of heroes — that is some super protection.

Asked and answered question in re: belts and the true nature of the unsung savior.

R.I.P., M.H.

(photograph via ali-sin on the tumblr.)

Asked and answered: Mermaid edition

Click to read it large. “Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?”

Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it: Daryl Hannah in Splash (Ron Howard, 1984).

Do you understand why I am bringing this up?

Asked and answered, but more questions are raised

Yes, I was at the pub! No, we did not win at trivia. Mr. Kite and friends won the first round, and I’m not sure what strangers won the second, although I got a nice video of Ronald giving us his patented glowery, sardonic Death Stare during the questions, which I will try to get around to uploading eventually. I let the Gentleman talk me in to the artichoke jalapeno dip, by which I used to swear, but I’m old now and my stomach is not the efficient and merciless iron machine that it once was. It’s angry at me today.

“Yeah, I was feeling pretty crappy today, too.” –thus spake the Gentleman, purveyor of artichoke jalapeno dip and stomach acid trips

The evening ultimately raised more questions than it answered, as there was the following new item on the menu:

This lead to broad and snickering speculation as to precisely what the what a “Tahoe Snoopy” is: it sounds like some kind of voyeuristic sex act. If anyone has an explanation for this, I’d love to hear it. Because that is simply not a term in widespread enough use to get thrown on a menu and not explained.

Asked and Answered: Janosz Poha edition

“Why I am drippings with goo?”
“You had a violent prolonged transformative psychic episode.”

Oh, if I had a nickel…

Asked and answered: Deep thoughts edition

Asked and answered

In regard to the ghost post of yester-eve wondering where the night would find me, I have an answer that will probably surprise no one.

I was, indeedy, at the pub. The boys were MIA so I nearly bailed, but instead I mustered my will to be brave and try new things and teamed up with just Jonohs for the last night of Monday night trivia until football season ends (switchin’ to Tuesdays now). We did not win either round of the trivia, although I kept one eye on the Yankees game and their significant victory cushioned the blow.

Mr. Kite and the Trio won by an impressive margin and Panda Eraser shocked all with a late-in-the-game cameo and joinage. She was unfortunately at the tail end of a very unmerry unbirthday (a day of no particular importance at all, nothing to see here so move along and also she was not born on that date so why are we even talking about this still, because it was not at all her birthday, jesus let it go), so I’m glad I was able to be there to buy her a drink. We also toasted this being her first day of cosmetology school, which has put Grease’s “Beauty School Dropout” in my head for the week I am sure. So, again, it worked out well that we went.

Plus, had I lost my nerve and not gone, I would have missed Ronald’s wonderful left-field accent, which would have been a tragedy beyond the telling. It was somewhere between Hannibal Lecter and the guy from Wayne’s World 2 who had the brown m&m story. Truly unmissable. Finally, when Panda Eraser came back from the ladies’ room she said, “Someone wrote ‘BEWARE OF LIMBO DANCERS’ at the bottom of the door to the stall!” Guess who?

All in all, an unexpectedly excellent time. My compliments and thanks to all involved.

Advice: asked and answered

Yes, I’d say the baby is definitely drinkin’ the blood.