Movie Millisecond: Garbo explains

Related to the last post, since we’re on the subject of GG —

Mata Hari (George Fitzmaurice, 1931.)

Valentine Vixen: Jessica St. George, Miss February 1965

Miss February 1965 was the lovely and talented Jessica St. George, the first Greek centerfold. Can I get a “hell, yeah” for my sisters across the sea? I am all for national pride, but it’s my belief that Mediterranean ladies must lay aside our ancient Greco-Roman differences and stick together when we are swarmed by A-cup blonde WASP-y types.

Photographed by Mario Casilli.

Ελληνική n. – (τυπογρ.) σαλόνι, γυμνό μοντέλο του κεντρικού σαλονιού περιοδικού.
translation:
centerfold n. – (sĕn’tər-fōld’) a magazine center spread, especially a foldout of an oversize photograph or feature.

The title of the article that accompanied this distinctly divergent pictorial (some shots are on one day, inside, with bad makeup, and the rest are really good and in-and-outdoors on a different day with much better styling) was, I wish I was kidding, “Greek Baring Gifts.” Ouch. I thought I made bad puns. Man. I am embarrassed for you right now, Playboy, not gonna lie. I mean, we’re still cool — but, dudes, I cannot even look at you right now.

In the interior photographs, Ms. St. George looks a little uncomfortable. Also, the stylist seems to have slightly wonked up her eye makeup, so her left eye looks different in size or level from the right. Totally outside Ms. St. George’s control. She is doing her best to awkwardly work it despite the handicap of shitty styling. In the outdoors shots, she is more relaxed in appearance and her smile looks less stiff.

PEOPLE I ADMIRE: Helen of Troy and President John F. Kennedy. She had complete command of men, and he was concerned about young people.

I wonder what Ms. St. George’s opinion of his widow Jacqueline Kennedy was after her sudden marriage to Aristotle Onassis. She snatched him right out from over beloved Greek-Italian opera diva and personal patron saint Maria Callas, who most Greek- and Italian-Americans idolized, celebrating her tempestuous romance with Onassis as much as her famous chilling voice.

I love Maria very, very much, and I used to be a big Jackie guy when I was younger, but no more. I know it’s unpopular and some people look at it as sacreligous to so much as cast a smidge of a shadow of hate on good ol’ Jacqueline Bouvier-Kennedy-Onassis-Polly-Wolly-Doodle-All-Day, that paragon of poise, style, Daddy Issues, and anorexia, but facts are facts.

And at some point in time, if you are going to give a serious read to the tangled web of 1960’s social history, and Ari Onassis and his interactions with the extraordinary, talented, and occasionally scandalous women his fat, arrogant, allegedly bisexual ass managed to land, you must choose sides; my personal journey through the threads of this time and my notions of fairness in love and war lead irrevocably to me renouncing Jackie and her neurotic little sister Lee forever in favor of my Maria. Team Callas. Period.

That was a long digression. Sorry, I get worked up. Apologies to Ms. St. George. Back to you, kiddo!

My favorite shot from the spread.

Jessica vows it has nothing to do with her Greek heritage, but we must admit we found just the slightest trace of chauvinism in the fact that her favorite music star is George Chakiris. (“Greeks Baring Gifts,” Playboy. February 1965.)

A thousand times, yes. Good call, Jessica! You may know George Chakiris as Bernardo, leader of the Puerto Rican street gang the Sharks and overprotective older brother to Natalie Wood in the role of Maria in West Side Story, for which he won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1961. He was a real hottie. I always thought he was much, much better-looking than Tony, the lead.

I wonder what he’s up to today?

Looking back, [at 70] Chakiris is satisfied with his career. Chakiris has escorted Marilyn Monroe (he was one of the dancers) during the “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” number in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, he recorded several albums in the 1960s, he performed Gershwin songs for audiences in Las Vegas, Lake Tahoe and Monte Carlo, he starred in numerous television guest roles—a spot on Hawaii Five-0 is among his favorites—and he played a villain on Dallas. He last starred [as Mr. Rochester] in a London stage production of Jane Eyre in 1997. (“A Boy Like That,” Holleran, Scott. Box Office Mojo. March 23, 2003.)

Well, that is all some dang awesome shit, if I do say so myself. Especially being Mr. Rochester — heat!

Ms. St. George’s ambition was to be a professional dancer and actress. No word on if she achieved her goal, but if I discover more I will update.

Music and Movie Moment: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes — Marilyn Monroe, “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend.”

Marilyn Monroe – Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Howard Hawks, 1953). Lorelei Lee, played by Marilyn Monroe, and Dorothy Shaw (Jane Russell) are a couple of good-time gals. The pair are a double act of nightclub singers from Little Rock, Arkansas who go to perform on a transatlantic cruise and have some fun adventures while at sea and in Paris.

Lorelei has a boyfriend, Gus, who is an heir to a fortune. They genuinely love each other and plan to marry, but his father is suspicious of Lorelei’s intentions where his son is concerned. Lorelei and Gus are supposed to go on a cruise to France together. However, Gus’s father forbids Gus to go along, so Lorelei convinces Dorothy to come with her instead.

Lorelei: Dorothy — Mr. Esmond and I are getting married!
Dorothy: What, to each other?
Gus: Of course to each other. Who else to?
Dorothy: Well, I don’t know about you, Gus, but I always figured Lorelei would end up with the Secretary of the Treasury.

Gus’s father catches wind of this and, hoping to catch Lorelei doing something unfaithful or illegal which will convince Gus of her unacceptability as a mate, he hires a private investigator named Ernie Malone to follow the girls abroad. For his part, Gus warns Dorothy to keep an eye on Lorelei while they’re on the cruise.

Gus: Dorothy Shaw. I want you to remember you’re supposed to be the chaperone on this trip.
Dorothy: Let’s get this straight, Gus. The chaperone’s job is to see that nobody else has any fun. But nobody chaperones the chaperone! [pauses] That’s why I’m so right for this job.

Dorothy: I’m not in condition to wrestle
I’ve never trained in a gym
Show me a man who can nestle
And I’ll pin a medal on him

I like big muscles
And red corpuscles
I like a beautiful hunk of man,
but I’m no physical culture fan.
Ain’t there anyone here for love? (“Ain’t There Anyone Here For Love,” Hoagy Carmichael and Harold Adamson, 1953)

Malone, the private investigator hired by Gus’s father to tail the girls, falls in love with Dorothy, while Lorelei gets up to shenanigans with the owner of a diamond mine, convincing him to snag for her his wife’s sparkly tiara (Shiny object?! Dogpile!!! — oh, we ladies) and a shitload of trouble in the process.

During Lorelei’s “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend” number, a scene for which the movie is justly famous, women serve as chandeliers, wall sconces, and candelabras.

Ah, the ornamental sex. The girls disembark in Paris and discover that Malone has sent Gus pictures of Lorelei’s flirtation with Beekman, the diamond mine owner, and Gus has subsequently cut Lorelei’s line of credit off. Penniless and stranded on an unfamiliar side of the Atlantic, the girls go with what they know and begin performing as nightclub singers there.

Despite being completely poor and in dire straits, the girls continue to dream big, impressed by the couture shops of Paris. They have no idea that their troubles have followed them.

Lorelei stands accused of theft by the wife of the diamond mine owner, and, in a classic case of the left hand not knowing what the right is doing, Beekman steals the tiara back. The girls don’t know this so they try to find it when the police come looking for Lorelei, which of course would be disastrous for her hopes of marriage to Gus.

The only way for Lorelei to clear her name and end the whole mess is for them to find the tiara and return it to Lady Beekman, so the girls divide their efforts. Lorelei goes on the hunt while Dorothy dons a blonde wig and allows the police to arrest her, claiming to be Lorelei.

I will not now continue to spoil the details, I will only let you know it works out great and to everyone who ever claimed Marilyn was a “bigger” actress or what-have-you, sizing worked differently back then and I think this picture of both the lovely ladies proves that Marilyn was actually pretty petite for the era.

All of the pictures in this post are just a few of the wonderful stills that are posted on the Nostalgia Party No. 2 community, a lovingly curated collection of screencaps on the lj. The stills from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes were posted by bowied. I strongly urge you to go and waste a ton of time in the community’s beautiful neck of the woods.

I’m sick as heck so I’m’a throw up a Daily Batman and hit the hay. It probably took me two hours to write this, and that is sheer nonsense. Good night, mainly!