Welcome, porny people! Now how about lending that filthy hand to a good cause?

First off, thanks to the — as of this writing — over 6,400 people who’ve swung by the site today! Super-cool!* I see you are being linked by a site called pussycalor.com. My thanks again to you for your visits, and a tip of my hat to the fine folks at the site referring you here for the, erm, clever wordplay in their company title (“Pussy Galore” + “hot” en español, I imagine, right? get it? … it’s a decent enough pun; I give it a 60 but I can’t dance to it).

Dawn Richard, Miss May 1957. Photographed by Ed DeLong and David Sutton.

However, now that you’re here, and I’ve got these vintage cheesecake Playboy centerfolds helping me hold your attention, LeVar Burton’s** twitter and I would like to bend your ear a tick on this whole Haiti earthquake and subsequent increased housing and famine catastrophe. This article in the Miami Herald details legit relief organizations through which you can help with time, money, and food donations the displaced and surviving persons affected by yesterday’s devastating earthquake in Haiti, which is unfortunately only going to compound their existing problems as a developing nation.

Miss December 1959, Pat Sheehan. Photographed by Sam Wu.

Those are all fine and worthy causes if you give the list a genuine spin, but I sense that if you have landed here, you are probably impatient to get on with other things, and I empathize to a point with you on the whole “utter-lack-of-attention-span” thing. (Everyone blames MTV but I think it started with cereal box-backs, because I never had cable and I’ve an awful itchy trigger finger in almost every situation) Here is the super-fast-easy way to seal the deal:

Miss January 1957, June Blair. Photographed by Hal Adams.

In America, text the word “HAITI” to the number 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross. It will automatically come off your phone bill. How easy is that? $10 is not that much, and this is coming from an extremely broke person. So why don’t you take your hand off your dick (only for a moment, don’t worry — I’m not asking for miracles), fetch up the cell phone you’ve undoubtedly parked in your pocket, and take a second to donate even the low amount of $10 to the Red Cross’s special fund, through which, guaranteed, 100% of your donation goes to Haitian quake relief efforts. The playmates you are gawking at would be super, super impressed. That is why they are all in red: for the Red Cross. (Yes, I have so many playmate pictures saved that I was able to cull out a few scantily red-clad ones for just this entry — and even then I narrowed it to these, my faves.)

Miss March 1957, Sandra Edwards. Photographed by Peter Gowland, a dear patron saint. Right on!

I am not telling you how to live your life, just saying it is a quick and easy way to ease suffering while we comfortably enjoy and count ourselves lucky another carefree, nudie-pic-seeking day. Thanks for your time!



*As I said to the Gentleman earlier today, “I have supported the porn industry for years. It’s about time they returned the favor.”

**You’re darned-tootin’ I follow Geordi La Forge on the twitter. And I did not think it was possible he could be more of a nerd than I always imagined, but he is. He’s seen Avatar, like, five times. I almost stopped following him cause it was all he was on about for weeks. But I forgive him.

NSFW November: Kaya Christian, Miss November 1967

Kaya Christian, Miss November 1967, was previously a diving and backstroke champ, then a water ballerina, and finally was certified as a SCUBA instructor just before this issue of Playboy went to print. I guess what I’m saying is, she’s in to watersports.

Photographed by Bill Figge and Ed DeLong

You know what I’ve noticed? It seems like the more vintage the playmate, the more the chance you will find a few butt shots. I don’t just mean shots where there is a naked hind end in the picture, I mean ones where the whole composition is framed around it; where it is solely the focal point, like you don’t even see boobs or anything else, practically.

It just seems like if a playmate is from the mid-60’s to late 70’s, you are practically guaranteed at least one photograph of the model looking over her shoulder or in profile with her ass aimed at the camera. Playboy has really went the boob-focused route since the 80’s and 90’s, all the way to the early 2000’s, and it seems it has been done at the price of the derriere. Sometimes the back side can be the best side, guys. It is now retro to have just-buns-pics in nudie spreads. Write that down.

A California native who spent her childhood in Georgia, Kaya enjoyed painting and music (so far, so good), late nights/early mornings (still solid), and listed as her idea of a good meal “shellfish and milkshakes.” Screeeee. What the unholy fuck?! Get out of the car, Ms. Christian. You’re walking. That’s easily the grossest thing I’ve heard all week, and most of my countrymen cooked a bird carcass in the last two days (the nasty phrases and descriptions that get bandied about when the subject is poultry roasting truly revolt me).

One of her turn-offs was “draft-card burners.” Oh, my. Sounds like the little swimming, naked girl has her some political opinions, enough so to list that in Playboy. Why don’t you go hoark down a bucket of oysters and a strawberry shake, sister, and save the sanctimonious shit for a rag that ain’t built on skin? Nobody cares if you uphold traditional family values (not to mention that the issue of the appropriateness of a draft for the Vietnam War was never, ever, except in the cheapest of rhetoric, about patriotism and being a good or a bad person).

This is what I was trying to point out in the last post, when I talked about Donna Edmondson and what she went through after admitting to being a virgin. The whole socio-religious-politics and porn thing just don’t mix. They don’t have to. I just think that if you try, you’re missing the point. It’s Playboy, honey. It’s not a pageant.

This is an example of a legit super-clever cover. See how her hips and ass form the bunny’s head and the straps that snake around the open back make his ears? Very nicely done. Another Beth Hyatt/Pompeo Posar pairing.

Weirdly, they talk about her work as

…laboring in the catacombish darkness of one of the West Coast’s largest photo-processing labs.

Thoughts on that? She talks about going to Catalina, so she’s in So-Cal. What’s down in the LA area in the way of Kodak-Eastman, etc? Because I could not at all place that reference.

NSFW November: Lisa Baker, Miss November 1966

The lovely and talented Lisa Baker, Playboy’s Miss November 1966 enjoys jazz, cheese-tasting, and a refreshingly open-minded take on afternoon snacking attire.

Photographed by either Bill Figge or Ed DeLong

Cheese looks like simple red-rind edam, alcohol looks like some kind of dessert wine, I am going to say Sauternes because I could drink that by the bottle and think it pairs well with cheese.

I like to order a cheese plate, where they give you the whole range from mild to sharp, with a glass of Sauternes at a fancy place when I feel like being hoity-toity and/or want to die from eating cheese, as I am viciously lactose intolerant and never remember to carry any kind of medicine with me. Read: if in some distant future, I am out with you, and I order a cheese plate, sex is not even remotely on my mind. The spirit may be willing thanks to the wine, but the flesh? Weak doesn’t begin to cover it.

Stomach swelling and projectile vomit notwithstanding, I am not the only girl who gets ga-ga over cute little cheese samples and suchlike. Sauternes and a cheese plate with nuts and triangle slices of that quince stuff have mellowed many a lady’s mind and made her look at her date more charitably. All the elements of a cheese-tasting spread are honestly easy to procure, and look super-posh. Believe me. Take this to the bank. We women go bananas for that kind of shit. Dessert wine, cheese varieties, almonds, and quince: write that down.

Records visible in the centerfold photo are Trini Lopez’s “Trini Lopez at PJ’s,” a live recording from 1963; the 1960 album “Hello Love” by Ella Fitzgerald; and “Playboy Presents: Once In A Blue Moon” by Johnny Janis (nice plug by the magazine).

Get it: the skis make her bunny ears. That’s kind of clever, right?

Anyway, I’ve blathered all this time about cheese and wine and LP’s mainly because I got all these pictures but very little info about Ms. Baker, other than that she was Playmate of the Year in 1967. Outside of that, her credits kind of died down around the late ’70s and they were all Playboy projects. I actually found more about her present doings than I did her past. She is currently still an active spokesmodel for products and print model available for photoshoots, appearing at conventions around the United States.

l to r: DeDe Lind (Miss August 1967), Helena Antonaccio (Miss June 1969), and Lisa Baker at Glamourcon 2006, from Helena’s official website.

Interestingly, according to the wiki, Ms. Baker now lives in Florida and rooms with fellow retired Playmate DeDe Lind, who is alleged to be one of the most popular Playmates ever, garnering the most bags of mail ever received in the magazine’s history up until the time of her appearance in August, 1967. The two travel to conventions together and appear at local events.

You keep on keepin’ on, girls. God bless ’em!

Photographed by Patrick “Patman” Sun, DragonCon 1998. Judging from her expression and her grip on that alien, I think Ms. Lind may have been over-served at the hotel bar.