Daily Batman: the Goddamn Batman redux

via.

Reference here and here.

Daily Batman: Silent as a child’s prayer

Wanted: Santa Claus, Dead or Alive. Frank Miller and Denny O’Neill. DC Special Series #21. April 1980.

Aw. Baby’s first goddamn Batman story. The Dark Knight Returns didn’t come until six years later.

Music Moment and Movie Millisecond: Don’t say I never gave you anything and please do have a laugh

Sin City (Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez, 2005). Jessica Alba portrays Nancy Callahan. Rescued from kidnap and rape in her youth by Detective John Hartigan (Bruce Willis), Nancy is now an exotic dancer at a divey downtown night spot guarded by my crowd-pleasing favorite character, Marv (Mickey Rourke).

Nancy as drawn by Miller in the original comics.

Things have been kind of heavy for me lately. Et tu? Seems like everyone I know is kind of down this week; guess Mars is in retrograde or some kind of similar jello salad. So I encourage you to hit “play” on the song below and watch in amazement as Nancy Callahan “dances it out” in the exact same beat at that there ol’ Kadie’s Club Pecos in fabulous Basin City, a sunny place for shady characters.

FIRST PLAY THIS:
Les Paul and Mary Ford — Goofus (1950).
THEN WATCH THIS:

Actually, it works with all kinds of songs, but “Goofus” is the one that struck an absurd and juvenile chord of laughter in me. If you’ve been feeling a little out of sorts today, please do have a laugh and promise to try and make some of your own fun.

Daily Batman: Never forget

PSA: This arcade belongs to the fucking Batgirl!* And none of you cockmongering assmunchers best forget it. She will mess the shit of all you ne’er-do-well cuntnecks** the fuck up, but proper!!

Ohhh, DC. You and your “leaks” and “apologies” for/of cusswords. Your lust for sales will slay us all.

*Is that anything like “the goddamned Batman?” you wonder. Mmm. Not yet. But delicious, memey-riffic time will tell.

**What is a cunt neck? I don’t know, it just came to me as a good insult. Like it seems it is a comparison to the neck of someone plump and vital in youth but maybe now gone to seed that has become all wrinkly and fleshy and vag-y? It is an insult that I think invites understanding of repulsion and distinct un-sexiness. Not sure exactly. I just know I am being vulgar as all kinds of heck in this post and I am (clap-clap, criss-cross-gesture with hands) ALL DONE for the day! King-size cusses. So done. SeaQuest out!

Daily Batman: The Long Halloween — “St. Patrick’s Day”

Batman, The Long Halloween No. 6, “St. Patrick’s Day.”

Please note Dr. Isley’s hair is represented here by shamrocks instead of the customary ivy leaves. Erin-go-bragh, y’all!

If you are a mainly Nolanverse kind of guy, you might really enjoy the late 90’s Batman comic arc The Long Halloween, as the events of the arc unfold in the direct wake of series-re-energizing thriller Batman: Year One, which is where Nolan draws a lot of his grittier, more emotionally cordant material. The story is told via episodes centering around the holidays in every month of the year and it runs basically that a fledgling Batman, with the help of Catwoman, pursues a serial vandal and criminal known as the Holiday killer. Carmine Falcone (and daughter Sofia), Salvatore Maroni, the Joker, Dr. Jonathan Crane, the Riddler, Solomon Grundy, Poison Ivy, and many more also appear — even the Mad Hatter.

Jim Dandy to the rescue. That’s my Loo G.

Meanwhile, on the side of right, Jim Gordon and Harvey Dent (who is married to his wife Gilda, as there was NEVER ANY “RACHEL DAWES” in any of the comics, and also becomes Two-Face over the course of the arc in this version of his origin) are looking to prosecute Bruce Wayne as the Holiday killer, even bringing in Alfred Pennyworth to testify against him, while Selina Kyle labors to help Bruce’s enterprises stay afloat during the trial and keep the Wayne family name and reputation clean. Bruce convinces them of his innocence and suggests they strike a pact with the goddamned Batman to bring down the mob’s control of the city’s corrupt public enterprises.

Actually, I’m cheating; this is one of the final panels of the issue just before, No. 5, “Valentine’s Day,” revealing that Ivy has been following Bruce and Selina and plans to control Bruce to get at his monies for the mafia. This just proves you CANNOT trust vegans.

Sounding like all kinds of appealing and tantalizing plot strings? Heck, yes. Check the arc out. The Long Halloween: ask for it by name!

Daily Batman: The Goddamn Batman.

I think I’ve referred to this title a time or two, but here is the origin of “the goddamn Batman” line.

All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, written by Frank goddamn Miller (Sin fucking City, 3cuntface00, Dareshit-fuck-christ-pissdevil).

Perhaps the book’s single most infamous moment occurred when Miller’s gritty style of dialogue led the title character to introduce himself to Grayson as “the Goddamn Batman.” The phrase went on to become something of a meme among comic book fans for its perceived comedic value,[11] and has, since its sudden fame, been repeated at least once in nearly every subsequent issue of the comic. According to reviewer Brett Weiss, the line “drew derision from fans and critics alike”. (the wiki)

Oh, Frank Miller. I may get mad or sneer at you from time to time, but I swar to gar, things like this make it impossible not to love you. Thanks to that outre bit of forced tough-guy dialogue, a whole new world of wonderful jokes have erupted. I for one am grateful.

Thanks, buddy!

Daily Batman: It happens

“In each of us there are two natures: good and evil. If this primitive duality of man could be housed in separate identities, life would be relieved of all that is unbearable. It is the curse of mankind that these polar twins should be constantly struggling.” — Dr. Henry Jekyll

Welcome to the monkeyhouse, Bruce Wayne. We’ve been waiting.