Heinlein Month: Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day, James Dean, “Pussy magnet” edition

“If you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat.”

(Robert A. Heinlein. The Door Into Summer. New York: Doubleday & Co, 1957.)

James Dean being all handsome and fly with a couple kitty cats, and scope those specs no less! Heat.

A very big guy for pretty much only this type of pussy, Dean’s cat’s name was Marcus. It was a present from Elizabeth Taylor.

Finally, a pen and ink drawing which was auctioned two years ago by his museum on good ol’ eBay. Dean drew it for Geraldine Page, his co-star in a Broadway play. I don’t really want to know what those two are doing, but you have to admit it’s a pretty damned good drawing, as bestiality sketches go.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Faceless internet drawing edition and skinny-jean PSA

via hhhelloalex on the tumblr.

If he is only in it for the pussy … it’s working. I am not deterred by today’s Hot Man’s facelessness nor non-existence. I can break down exactly why this sketch of a gentleman melts my cold, cold heart.

a) Girls Like A Boy Who Plays Music.
b) Dressed like Han Solo.
c) Dressed like Han Solo (counts at least twice).
d) Looks like he could not borrow my jeans.

Emo boys, I have given you warnings in the past, but I’m still seeing these skinny jeans and “jeggings” hanging off your narrow heinies all around the town. Let me phrase it to you less delicately than in the past.

PSA:

If you look like you could literally get in my pants, you are not getting in my pants.

/End PSA. Now please refer to the handsome faceless internet drawing of what a real man looks like, and eat some spaghetti, Slappy.

edit: The lyrics are from “Awake My Soul” by Mumford and Sons. Here is what I assume to be the inspiration for the drawing:

Nothing to complain about, but is it weird that I like the drawing better? It isn’t anything so explicable and logically psychological like that the facelessness implies more tantalizing possibility: I genuinely just prefer the drawing to the dude. Could be the camera angle making him look shorter and thinner. Don’t worry, guy, you are still okay. Maybe give the other one a Twinkie, though.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Young Marlon Brando

Been a while since we’ve had a Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day around here and I thought I’d look to remedy that right about now.

Like fellow rebel-imaged hottie James Dean*, Marlon Brando was a complex cat who looked damned fine deviating from the norm.

Credit.**

“Acting is the least mysterious of all crafts. Whenever we want something from somebody or when we want to hide something or pretend, we’re acting. Most people do it all day long.”
(Interview in the New York Times. July 2, 2004.)

Girls like a boy who plays music.

This picture ain’t just whistlin’ dixie. Marlon Brando holds several patents for drumhead tensioning. That links to one, but the patent office issued others between December 2002 and November 2004.

Marlon Brando: Pussy Magnet.

Girls like a boy who reads.

“With women, I’ve got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end. I slip the loop around their necks so they can’t get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.”

Mr. Brando’s legally wedded snakes:

Anna Kashfi (1957–1959)

Movita Castaneda (1960–1962)

Tarita Teriipia (1962–1972)

“He gave us our freedom. … When Marlon dies, everybody moves up one.”

(Jack Nicholson, on Brando’s import in the history of actors.)

Mr. Brando passed away on July 1, 2004 at the UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles, California of respiratory failure from pulminary fibrosis, brought on by numerous causes. R.I.P.

I promise to revisit Marlon Brando another Hot Man Bein’ Hot etc day because I’ve got loads more pictures.








*On October 1, my Complete James Dean DVD box set arrives, along with an Audrey set. Anticipaaation.
**All pictures via fuckyeahmarlonbrando on the tumblr, a beautiful must for Brando fans.

Flashback Friday — Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Donal Logue

Originally posted with a few less pictures on September 29, 2009 at 4:58 pm.

A confession: I ♥ Irish boys. I don't care if they are actually, legitimately from Ireland in their own generation or of some murky Irish extraction and descent — it's like I have a natural magnetic draw to them.

“My Mom, she’s from Ireland, coached tennis in Nigeria when she was a Missionary and turned me on to it when I was young.

La la la, “from Ireland,” la la la, “missionary,” la la la, “turned on.” That’s what I heard. Heyo!

The Tao of Steve (Jenniphr Goodman, 2000). Please note Guinness harp tattoo.

The first role in which I ever saw Donal Logue (that I knew of at the time) was as sexy genius mathematician Gunter Janek in the film Sneakers (Phil Alden Robinson, 1992), who is first shown giving a lecture but later ends up banging a hot slavic blonde chick on a desk in grainy but glorious black and white. Wowee! I, too, flip for geeks, and did from the earliest age, so I hella dug that scene (I’m kind of a voyeur from way back; try to think of it as a charmingly quaint quality rather than a creepy one) and I am not ashamed to admit that it stuck with me for years. Here he is as Gunter Janek rocking a number theory lecture on codebreaking:

“Once a film is made and it exists, someone somewhere is going to watch it and that is kind of the magic of it all.”

Yes, I’d call that desk sex scene some undeniable Hollywood magic from that there ol’ Dream Factory. Thank you to everyone involved in bringing that to life, you have my gratitude forever, all of you! Truly.

At the Los Angeles premiere of DreamWorks’ Monsters vs. Aliens, 2009.

Next, Donal turned up for me in “Squeeze,” the first Eugene Tooms episode of the X-Files. You know, the liver-eating dude with the yellow eyes and the bendy-flexi skeleton? Semi-immortal (time will tell) and came back later in the series? Donal Logue played Agent Tom Colter, Scully’s colleague who calls her in on the Tooms case to begin with, and looks mighty hot doin’ it.

Agent Tom Colton: Okay, if he wants to come and do you a favor, great. But make sure he knows this is my case. Dana, if I can break a case like this one, I’ll be getting my bump up the ladder. And you, maybe you won’t have to be Mrs. Spooky any more.

(“Squeeze.” The X-Files, Season One, Episode 3. Original air date September 24, 1993.)

He’s done a string of wonderful movie parts and television appearances, so many that I think I just may have to continue this another day! I will leave you with the following shots to titillate you.

This is the first time I’ve ever been jealous of the company Kelly Ripa keeps…

“I’m not a comic book guy. I’m pretty fascinated with the subculture though and I do think that the world of comic books is such a natural transition into film.”

You’d think I’d be sorry to hear that he is not a guy who is much of a one for comics, but I could not care less. Donal, I forgive you. You go ahead and star in any movie you like, comic-based or not. I am helpless to resist buying a ticket. Eskimo kisses!

During the 2006 Austin Film Festival, catching up on some King of the Hill.

Until next time. (Salute)

Liberated Negative Space o’ the Day and Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: R. Crumb

The awesome underground comic genius and supafly beanpole hottie R. Crumb poses in the ’70’s with a wall liberated by some of his creations. You might understand the artistic admiration yet still be asking “Realistically, you picked R. Crumb as a ‘Hot’ Man Bein’ Hot of the Day? Up against former category-entrants like Viggo Mortensen, James Dean, and Sean Bean, doesn’t that seem like a stretch?” Okay — NO.

For one thing, I mainly do not discriminate against body type in either direction (except for manorexics in girls’ skinny jeans: you may go take sepia pictures of yourself with knives at your wrists and then write in your livejournal about how mean ol’ E made fun of you). Because for the second and more important thing, hotness does come from within. It is a complex mix of partly physical characteristics that ring your bell but more resonantly it is a response to personality, charisma, mental agility, and weird energy, and yes it can be partially deduced from a photograph, interview, quote, or film clip. (Hence celebrity crushes are sane — ish.)

With wife Aline Kominsky, who actually postdates his character Honeybunch Kominski and is an awesome comix artist in her own right.

That mix: does it mesh with your unique mix? Are you drawn to it? Do you fall in to genre-based-romance and like the class clown, the bad boy, or the quiet type? Do you not care about any of that if the guy smells like a certain brand of shampoo or has a particular timbre to his speaking voice?

It’s not physical so much as something in the eyes, the face, the click, the smell, the deeds and words that make up what a person really is on a plane beneath the physical. That’s why judging hotness results in different outcomes for everyone. And for me personally, R. Crumb’s type of crazy is blazing hot.

Almost bought Crumb’s Book of Genesis in Arcata with Katohs this April, but I changed my mind at the last minute, instead opting to blow all my liquid assets on plates of cheese, to which I am basically allergic, and overpriced vintage records even though both my record players are in Portland — please excuse me while I blow ya mind with my mad rad cash-management skills.

It is 100% a possibly true fact that I am a genius with money, and I encourage you all to attend my smash-hit traveling financial and motivational seminar, “Just Kidding, I’m Broke — Will You Buy Me Potato Skins? No? Split A Cheese Plate, then?” when I come soon to a town near you!

Girls like a boy who reads … his own comics.

Final Thought: Eat spaghetti. Don’t you want to be like Sophia Loren and R. Crumb? What are you waiting for? A sweet rack and emotional relaxation are just a pot of boiling water and a jar of tomato sauce away. Through away that ass-nasty rice cake or low-carb yogurt and welcome back to loving life! You’re welcome.

Movie Moment and Hot Men Bein’ Hot of the Day: ¡Three Amigos! (1986)

Jon Lovitz reminds me too much of my father, but I would totally tumble for every single one of the other cast members of the movie ¡Three Amigos! (1986), directed by John Landis.

A great sense of humor is super key for me in a man. It suggests a spirit of fun and spontaneity. If a man can make me laugh, I am ten thousand percent more attracted to him than if he was some societally-standard, good-looking but overly serious twat. Someone who really throws back their head and laughs, who can forget themself in the heat of a conversation and really be lost in enjoyment — that is a great quality in a human being. It puts me at ease and fosters a sense of camarederie.

I used to date this guy when I lived in Southern California that I think thought it was his mission in life to correct me. He would listen to me tell a joke or deliberately exaggerate as part of a humorous bit, then patiently explain to me at length how what I said could never be true, or how I was overstating it. Well, of course it (it being whatever my premise had been) could not really be so, or could never be so to that great of a degree. That’s why it was funny to say it. I will never understand what he saw in me, if he so obviously took issue with what I consider to be my most overriding feature, my general inability to take life seriously for more than ten minutes in a row, but eventually I broke up with him and managed to make it stick (the first couple times were false starts — I have a will made more of feathers than of iron). We just were not compatible. Shock ending, right?

Anyway, if you have lived a full life up until today but somehow missed this movie, don’t panic: you can still buy it on DVD (not Blu-Ray yet), rent it, or even watch clips from it over on the hulu! It features Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short as silent film stars who end up being mistaken for real gunslingers and get involved in a real dispute south of the border between the Mexican village of Santa Poco and a dangerous crime boss named El Guapo. Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz play the greedy studio bosses back in Hollywood.

Lucky Day: In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!

Dusty Bottoms: Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?

Rosita: I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
Dusty Bottoms: Lips would be fine.

Bartender: We don’t have beer. Just tequila.
Ned Nederlander: What’s tequila?
Bartender: Uh, it’s like beer.

Ned Nederlander: Oooh, tell us we will die like dogs!
El Guapo: You .. you will die like dogs.

Mr. Flugelman: Do you know what “nada” means?
Dusty Bottoms: Isn’t that a light chicken gravy?

Dusty Bottoms: Well I’d like to continue to work for free, Mr. Flugleman!

Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: [singing] My little Buttercup has the sweetest smile/ Dear little Buttercup, won’t you stay a while?/ We’ll settle down together in a cottage built for two/ Oh, Dear little Buttercup, I love you!
Lucky Day: [motioning for people to join in singing] C’mon, everybody!
Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: My little Buttercup has the sweetest…
[points to man]
Patron: Es-smile!

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Vincent Cassel

It has been way too long since we saw a hot man bein’ hot of the day around here. Vincent Cassel, take it away!

Brilliant oddball Vincent Cassel is married to a personal heroine, Monica Bellucci — ten years in August. Impressive! He is a director, actor, writer and musician. Generally he plays maniacs and bad guys (I love crazy).

He has said of his being typecast in tough guy parts, “It’s all right. I like playing baddies.” The first role in which I ever saw him was as Gilles de Rais in Luc Besson’s 1999 film The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc, which for my Catholic, action-movie-loving, Milla-Jovovich-adoring money is one of the best freakin’ movies evah.

Some fun Vincent and Monica facts from the imdb:

Both have been the Master of Ceremonies at the Cannes film festival: Vincent in 2006, Monica in 2003.

For professional reasons, Vincent lives mostly in Paris while Monica Bellucci lives mostly in London. Despite this, they have appeared in the following films together: Sheitan (2006), Agents secrets (2004), Irréversible (2002), Le pacte des loups (2001), Méditerranées (1999), Le plaisir (et ses petits tracas) (1998), Compromis (1998), Dobermann (1997), Come mi vuoi (1997) and L’appartement (1996).

Some of Vincent’s english-language credits from which you might recognize him include Elizabeth, Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen, Eastern Promises, and the forthcoming Darren Aronofsky picture Black Swan, which will also star Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Winona Ryder, and Barbara Hershey (freaking awesome).

A musician among his other many talents, Vincent performed the song “Step Da Step Krugom” in Eastern Promises. He also appeared as the voice of Monsieur Hood and sang the gay, snappy little Merry Men number in Shrek — you know, the scene in the wood where Princess Fiona kicks their asses all Matrix style.

Final shot featuring bonus heat from one Mister Viggo Mortensen (of course) from the set of Eastern Promises:

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Double Your Geekiness, Double Your Fun edition

What’s better than posts about Sean Bean or Viggo Mortensen? A post about Sean Bean and Viggo Mortensen. Oh, my god, like, do you feel a little set up now? Don’t worry, I have not mismanaged your expectations: I, too, forgot until earlier today when I was unpacking a bunch of my stuff (twitch) that they were both in Lord of the Rings. I do not know how I forgot, but I did, and believe me, I apologize and vow to rectify that error. Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind. Either way? SCORE!

And, finally, reunited and it feels so good, first just sitting around getting high in front of blue walls or else casually tickling one another, and then at the Empire Awards, 2009, in some kind of folkloric greeting area (you know these types of things are just to make money, right? they are largely meaningless).

The person from whose site I am linking this picture without permission (I am a dick and I’m in a hurry!) claims that in this shot, what had happened was Viggo Mortensen stuck his hand up the back of Sean Bean’s shirt and tickled him. I don’t totally see evidence of that, but I’m not dismissing it out of hand. I’m okay with that being true. So we’ll see.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Donal Logue

A confession: I ❤ Irish boys. I don't care if they are actually, legitimately from Ireland in their own generation or of some murky Irish extraction and descent — it's like I have a natural magnetic draw to them.

“My Mom, she’s from Ireland, coached tennis in Nigeria when she was a Missionary and turned me on to it when I was young.”

La la la, “from Ireland” la la la “turned on.” That’s what I heard. Heyo!

The first role in which I ever saw Donal Logue (that I knew of at the time) was as sexy genius mathematician Gunter Janek in the film Sneakers, who is first shown giving a lecture but later ends up banging a hot slavic blonde chick on a desk in grainy but glorious black and white. Wowee! I, too, flip for geeks, and did from the earliest age, so I hella dug that scene (I’m kind of a voyeur from way back; try to think of it as a charmingly quaint quality rather than a creepy one) and I am not ashamed to admit that it stuck with me for years. Here he is as Gunter Janek rocking a number theory lecture on codebreaking:

“Once a film is made and it exists, someone somewhere is going to watch it and that is kind of the magic of it all.”

Yes, I’d call that desk sex scene some undeniable Hollywood magic from that there ol’ Dream Factory. Thank you to everyone involved in bringing that to life, you have my gratitude forever, all of you! Truly.

Next, Donal turned up for me in “Squeeze,” the first Eugene Tooms episode of the X-Files, you know, with the liver-eating dude with the yellow eyes and the bendy-flexi skeleton? He played Agent Tom Colter, Scully’s colleague who calls her in on the case to begin with, and looks mighty hot doin’ it.

Agent Tom Colton: Okay, if he wants to come and do you a favor, great. But make sure he knows this is my case. Dana, if I can break a case like this one, I’ll be getting my bump up the ladder. And you, maybe you won’t have to be Mrs. Spooky any more. — The X-Files, “Squeeze,” 1993.

He’s done a string of wonderful movie parts and television appearances, so many that I think I just may have to continue this another day! I will leave you with the following shots to titillate you.

This is the first time I’ve ever been jealous of the company Kelly Ripa keeps…

“I’m not a comic book guy. I’m pretty fascinated with the subculture though and I do think that the world of comic books is such a natural transition into film.”

You’d think I’d be sorry to hear that he is not a guy who is much of a one for comics, but I could not care less. Donal, I forgive you. You go ahead and star in any movie you like, comic-based or not. I am helpless to resist buying a ticket. Eskimo kisses!

Until next time. (Salute)

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Paul Rudd edition

Ladies and gentlemen, the handsome and talented Mr. Paul Rudd!

“It’s insane but it’s a great insane.” –Paul Rudd

“I was more interested in acting than just doing stand-up comedy. And then my interests in stand-up started getting really weird. I was into a very anti-comedian thing, a very, kind of, Andy Kaufman performance-art type thing, and I thought, “Well, if I were ever to do comedy, it would so not work, because it wouldn’t be funny.” [Laughs.] I think there are guys like Zack Galifianakis, I just think he’s like the best out there, so good. There are so many really good comedians, and I would never be as good as they are. It’s not my calling. What’s funny is, all the comics want to be musicians. Like Tom Waits or Elvis Costello. Same with actors. A lot of people say, “What’s the worst part about being an actor?” And the worst part is that you’re not a musician.” –Paul Rudd

“There’s a very specific thing you can do to get in magazines. I’m much happier to just show up and do the job. I haven’t taken the active approach to making myself a star. I haven’t been in a blockbuster.” –Paul Rudd

Pfft. You are a blockbuster, kiddo! Hot shit.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Sean Bean again, because why not? with special guest heat Pierce Brosnan

Sean Bean as traitorous villain Alec Trevelyan, aka 006, aka Janus, with Pierce Brosnan as James “007” Bond in 1995’s BAFTA nominated GoldenEye.

One more? Okay!

And, as a final thought, there is nothing like the whitehot, wild and wonderful sexy magic you feel when you hook it up with someone as batshit insane in the sack as yourself, am I right? Touching shit right here, I mean it. I think they are a sweet couple.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the day: James Dean, Pussy Magnet edition

James Dean being all handsome and fly with a couple kitty cats, and scope those specs no less! Heat.

“Only the gentle are ever really strong.” –James Dean

His cat’s name was Marcus. It was a present from Elizabeth Taylor.

Finally, a pen and ink drawing which was auctioned two years ago by his museum on good ol’ eBay. Dean drew it for Geraldine Page, his co-star in a Broadway play. I don’t really want to know what those two are doing, but you have to admit it’s a pretty damned good drawing, as bestiality sketches go.

Unlikely G: Actually Very Likely Indeed, Inaugural Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day edition

Well, looky here, if it is not the inaugural Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day!

Sean Bean as Errol Partridge in Equilibrium. What’s got two thumbs and reads Yeats at gunpoint? This flyass mothafucka right here:

Partridge: You always knew.
[begins to read from Yeats while John Preston keeps his gun trained on him]
“But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
I assume you dream, Preston?
— Equilibrium

I am not only about boobies and geeky boys from 80s movies and Star Trek. I also am a lady and I like lady things; I certainly can appreciate hot men bein’ hot. This will hopefully be a daily feature. Maybe even more than once a day, because why not? Final g-ness:

John Preston: Then, I’m sorry.
Partridge: No, you’re not. You don’t even know the meaning. Its just a vestigial word for a feeling you’ve never felt.
— Equilibrium

Lit by the fire flickers of the burning “Mona Lisa.” Yeah. That is fly as fuuuuuck, I’m sorry. Critics generally did not like this movie, but what the what do they know? How can you say no to Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, and Sean Bean in a dystopian futuristic action movie with a made-up form of martial arts and secret feelings-awakening rebellion in the form of reading banned books of poetry? That’s, like, ten things that ring my bell. I am not keeping a super-close count, but I’m pretty sure that’s lowballin’ it, even. For me to pan this film would be like a straight high school boy panning Wild Things. Just not happening!

Anybody else suddenly in a better mood about life, the universe, and everything?