Scrooged (Richard Donner, 1988).A cynically selfish TV executive gets haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve.
(the imdb)
Why, it’s Lee Majors!
Santa, is there a back way out of this place?
Of course there is, Lee, but this is one Santa that’s going out the front door.
Seven o’clock. Psychos seize Santa’s workshop, and only Lee Majors can stop them … The Night The Reindeer Died.”
Mom, where’s Dad? Shouldn’t he have been home by now?
Oh, Wally. If I know your father, he’s out chasing Beaver.
The head street caroler that Frank insults during the production scenes at “IBC” is played by Paul Shaffer. David Sanborn, Larry Carlton, and Miles Davis are the others.
“When I say I’m in love, you best believe I’m in love, L-U-V.”
It just blows my mind that David Johansen was in the New York Dolls and, like, randomly is this insanely talented Renaissance man. Buster Poindexter, voice work, Oz … and I totally forgive him for “Hot Hot Hot.” He doesn’t like it either. He said on NPR (apparently, I don’t know for certain because I do not like NPR) that the song was “the bane of my existence.”
A choo-choo train?
No, it’s not a choo-choo train. It’s five pounds of veal.
He’s only four years old.
All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can’t work… ‘My back hurts,’ ‘my legs ache,’ ‘I’m only four!’ The sooner he learns life isn’t handed to him on a silver platter, the better!
I’ve never liked a girl enough to give her twelve sharp knives before.
Who doesn’t love Karen Allen? Whoever you are, you’re a horrible person. Those shiny eyes, the determined little butt chin, the freckledy hands and toothy smile? The lady’s like Margot Kidder’s classy cousin.
When Carol Kane was beating up on Bill Murray during shooting, she accidentally tore his lip for real. They had to halt production for a couple days ’til his lip was better. Moral of the story is, don’t fuck with Carol Kane. Not ever.
In the future, all ladies will dress like geishas on Designing Women. Unless …
Break a leg, everybody. I feel real weird about tonight.
Psst. It’s Wendy Malick. And one of the friends at their party is Pete from Dharma and Greg. Pass it on.
But all of this is practically an aside, when the true main attraction is —
— Bobcat Goldthwaite as disgruntled ex-employee Elliot Loudermilk. Man, it is a little known fact, but I would leave it all behind without a second glance for Bobcat Goldthwaite. I especially like when he sells his blood. I tried to do that once with plasma, you know, the hard shit, but the snobs at the blood bank turned me down. Said my veins were too small for the needle used in the plasmapheresis process. So I stumbled to the bus and then walked home from my stop carrying my shoes. Lord, how I wish this was a fable.
How’s this for a deal? I hire you back, pay you twice your original salary, and offer you a vice president position. Would you like my office?
I don’t like your office.
Oh, that is so you.
[Elliot] Hello, IBC program room?
This is Rhinelander. Who’s the idiot that put that nut on the air?
Oh, Brice Cummings is the idiot, sir, but he can’t talk to you right now because he’s sort of … tied up. Yeah, uh-huh — oh, in fact, he just said that you were a flatulating butthead.
A butthead?
Mmm. He said he’s never felt this way about a man before, but you really look good in a suit.
In all honesty, the conversion speech at the end is not terribly heartfelt (it’s much easier to believe Bill Murray as the embittered cynic he portrays through the rest of the movie), but we knew it would end cheesey from the get-go and you sign on for the whole package: you have to love it, too. And the rest of the package is highly tolerable.