Talk nerdy to me — it’s Wednesday: Mad Math edition

It’s important to get hands-on with arithmetic lessons.

So besides going back to school for some masochistic post-grad-work (I couldn’t stay away forever), I’ve also been teaching mathematics to below-level fourth and fifth graders. I really like it. But it’s kept me busy. These are students who dislike math and need new ways to connect with their material: I’m trying to use a lot of concrete examples.

Anyone had a disconnect with math in their youth and recall lessons which resonated more strongly than the ol’ drill and kill? I’ve got ideas of my own but, with these scamps, I can’t have enough.

Wednesday Wednesday: Are they made with “real” Girl Scouts?

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

What’s got two thumbs and is a lifetime member of the Girl Scouts? This flyass bitch right here, posting up all this shenanigans, THAT’S WHO! Yeah, I know, right? You’d think they’d have kicked me out a long time ago. But I’m not the only one. Sarah-fina, Miss D, Franci, and many, many other dear ol’ friendohs can say the same. It’s pretty kickass to be in the Girl Scouts, not gonna lie.

Though she is credited as merely “Girl Scout” in the first film, Mercedes McNab most assuredly returned as Amanda “Sarah Miller” Buckman in Addams Family Values.

Wednesday Wednesday: Charles Addams on Wednesday

Child of woe is wane and delicate…sensitive and on the quiet side, she loves the picnics and outings to the underground caverns…a solemn child, prim in dress and, on the whole, pretty lost…secretive and imaginitive, poetic, seems underprivileged and given to occasional tantrums…has six toes on one foot… — Charles Addams (qtd in wiki)

Wednesday Wednesday: A rose by any other name

Dig the wiki:

“In Charles Addams’s cartoons, Wednesday and other members of the family had no names. When the characters were adapted to the 1964 television series, Charles Addams gave her the name “Wednesday”, based on the well-known nursery rhyme line, “Wednesday’s child is full of woe”. In the Spanish language version, her name is Merlina Addams. In the Brazilian version (Portuguese), her name is Wandinha” (wiki).

Wednesday Wednesday: Wednesday is good for games

Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So we can play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It’s called, “Is There a God?”

Morticia: Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday: I’m going to electrocute him.
Morticia: But we’re late for the charity auction.
Wednesday: But, Mother…
Morticia: I said no.
Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?
Morticia: Oh, all right.

Wednesday Wednesday: Everyone’s a critic!

Gary: Don’t you want to help me realize my vision?
Wednesday: Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities.
Gary: Young lady, I am getting just a tad tired of your attitude problem.

Wednesday: You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides; you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims … especially Sarah Miller.”
Amanda: Gary, she’s changing the words!
Wednesday: And for all these reasons, I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.