Daily Batman: Making love in a cape is a dangerous proposition

via Paul Tobin

Bat tat, too.

Daily Batman: Man-poaching Angelina Jolie’s childhood aspirations edition

Avert your husband’s eyes (pull them out if necessary) — it’s everybody’s favorite frustratingly irresistible, Ayn Rand-reading man-poacher: Angelina Jolie!

“When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers I kind of wanted to be a vampire.”

Quelle surprise.

Advice: Asia Argento, quelle surprise, NSFW umpteenth edition

“People think I’m a cliché. The dark lady, the bitch from Hell. All they can see is that I’m naked.” — Asia Argento

Like so many of my favorite quotes from Ms. A, I find a solid corner on the veracity of this complaint …. problematic. (I hate what I am about to say, but…if you are troubled by the fact that all people can see is your nudity, perhaps a quick robe might help?) But where it helps me is, it forces me to analyze whether I, too, set myself up for whatever stereotypification, dislike, or victimization I receive: is it easier to seek the familiar even if what is familiar is ostracism? I still haven’t told my “why-I-must-throttle-back-on-woman-judging” story, it’s really good and speaks beautifully to this point. At this stage, with thinking of it so much yet still not setting thoughts down, I must be avoiding it on purpose. Sorry. I’ll get there.

“I always saw myself as really ugly. My father even told me I was ugly because I would shave my head and look like a boy. It was strange for me to have to research femininity, but I found out these tricks for getting attention that I didn’t know before. It was a kind of revenge, I guess, on all the kids who said I was ugly at school.” –Asia Argento

Bar none best and most unflinchingly honest moment from her thinly veiled autobiography and directorial debut, Scarlet Diva: shaving her pits in the bathroom while puffing a dangler. I love this woman, crazy talk and flawed logic and all, maybe even more because of it, in fact.

Quelle surprise.

I got another writing project. This one a) is legit-illegitimate, where I have to straightforward plagiarize and cannot delude myself the person needs the help or is using this as a model paper or some folklore, and b) has some whiff of the racysauce to boot. Double ooh!

Cheezits, I don’t even like being bad, this is me putting an upbeat face on it. Well…I can’t say the topic is the worst thing ever in my book, I admit.

Alternative Secretary poster design by Dawn Patrol on the IMP awards website.

So, yes, I came home from the SJ trip with Miss D and, after meeting up with Paolo at Chevy’s for some strategy and relaxation (gown is safe and sound in the actual town where the wedding will be, one less care on the list this week, thank god!), I got back to the ol’ compy and found I’d won a bid on a paper for which I’d forgotten even devising a quote. Got all those dogs in the fire, stanimal, I keep saying so, and a few other frankly distracting things swirling around me.

Quelle surprise: the topic is masochism. SS Funtimes, ahoy!