12 Days of Highly Tolerable Holiday Movies: Edward Scissorhands

Edward Scissorhands (Tim Burton, 1990).

An uncommonly gentle young man, who happens to have scissors for hands, falls in love with a beautiful teenage girl.

(the imdb)

I showed this film to Patrico and Katohs when they were kiddos, and as soon as the interior shots of the castle began, Special K jumped up and said, “It’s the doctor’s house from Nightmare Before Christmas!” I’ve never sat with the movies side by side, but I think it’s true. I think Burton modeled the doctor’s laboratory-castle in Nightmare Before Christmas after the set from the Inventor’s house in Edward Scissorhands, probably as an in-joke/reference to Vincent Price.

But if you had regular hands you’d be like everyone else.

Yes, I know.

… But then no one would think you were special. You wouldn’t be on, on TV or anything.

No matter what, Edward will always be special.

Vincent Price, for whom the part was specifically created, was originally intended to have a larger role in this film, but his health was failing due to emphysema and Parkinsons’ Disease. He died October 25, 1993, of lung cancer.

Avon calling!

Johnny Depp had his “Winona Forever” tattoo altered to say “Wino Forever.” Love and booze make the world go ’round.

I tried to make Jim go back, but, you can’t make Jim do anything. Thank you for not telling them that we —

You’re welcome.

It must have been awful when they told you whose house it was.

I knew it was Jim’s house.

Y–you did?

Yes.

But — then, why’d you do it?

Because you asked me to.

Well, Edward, did you have a productive day?

Mrs. Monroe showed me where the salon’s going to be. … And then she showed me the back room where she took off all of her clothes.

This is an actual neighborhood in Lutz, Florida. It is a community called Carpenter’s Run. The street on which the Boggses live is Tinsmith Circle.

Tim Burton originally wanted to make Edward Scissorhands a musical. He said it felt like a “big, operatic” story to him. While it has not been revisioned as a musical, the film has been adapted as a ballet.

This scene could have been between Drew Barrymore and Tom Cruise. Both were in discussion for portraying the lead roles. Other Edward would-bes included William Hurt, Tom Hanks, and Robert Downey, Jr. I know it’s infantile because Hollywood is a business, and business is business, but that blows my mind. I cannot picture anyone else in the parts.

Edward Scissorhands is a tale of misunderstood gentleness and stifled creativity, of civilization’s power to corrupt innocence, of a heedless beauty and a kindhearted beast.

(The New York Times)

There is a lot of dust in here right now.

12 Days of Highly Tolerable Holiday Movies: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

It’s hard to believe it was just last Christmas that Harmony and I changed the world. And we didn’t mean to and it didn’t last long. You know a thing like that can’t.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (Shane Black, 2005).

A murder mystery brings together a private eye, a struggling actress, and a thief masquerading as an actor.

(the imdb)

Look up “idiot” in the dictionary. You know what you’ll find?

A picture of me?

No. The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!

She opens the door, and she’s got nothing on but the radio. Yeah. She invites me to sit down, sits on my lap, fires up a spliff —

Geez. Really?

No! Idiot.

Merry Christmas, sorry I fucked you over.

No problem. Don’t quit your gay job.

She’s been fucked more times than she’s had a hot meal.

Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck — but then she skipped lunch.

I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, an ID from that?

I’m sorry, you peed on…?

On the corpse. My question is —

No, my question. I get to go first. Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?

Hey, hey, hey! It’s Christmas. Where’s my present, Slick?

Your fucking present is you’re not in jail, fag-hag.

You don’t get it, do you? This isn’t “good cop, bad cop.” This is fag and New Yorker. You’re in a lot of trouble.

I think this is a killer movie and I don’t want to give away the plot, which is why these blurbs between the pictures are all quotes from the incredibly witty, breakneck script. Writer-director Shane Black’s screenplay is loosely adapted from the Brett Halliday novel Bodies Are Where You Find Them (real name Davis Dresser).

The title underwent many changes over the course of production, before, allegedly at Val Kilmer’s suggestion, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was finally settled on. It comes from the 1968 book by film critic Pauline Kael.

Kael heard that in Italy James Bond was known as “Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” and thought that was the most succinct summation of the appeal of cinema she had ever heard. She fell in love with the phrase. Though she heard it from an Italian movie poster, “Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” was in wide use, from Southern Europe all the way to Asia, as the vernacular for the Bond flicks.

The film is a blend of mystery, neo-noir, camp, dark comedy, and romantic comedy genres. The fourth wall is continually broken,not only by Harry, the narrator-thief-would-be-actor, but also by Gay Perry, the former cop turned private eye who the studio instructs Harry to follow for his upcoming role. The self-awareness works really within the genre, kind of scooping it away from the cheese into which it could descend, but the film still sticks with the noir genre at the same time, with duplicitous blondes, sleepless runs through L.A., and body counts galore.

Thanks for coming. Please stay for the end credits. If you’re wondering who the Best Boy is, it’s somebody’s nephew. Um … don’t forget to validate your parking. And — to all you good people in the Midwest? Sorry we said “fuck” so much.

You will never forget Val Kilmer’s turn as Gay Perry in this movie. That is a promise. Watch it today! Or tomorrow! Or at your convenience!

Just another Monocle Monday

It’s Monocle Monday, because why not? Monocles: they are a Thing.

Robert Downey, Jr., check out his debut studio album.

Jeremy Irons has opinions about the Seven Deadly Sins.

Conrad Veidt was once Cesare — he came, he saw, he conquered Expressionist film.

Of course, it is not always so black and white in this world…

Madwoman and fashionista to the stars, Pat Field is often not much my style, but I must always commend distinctiveness.

Happy Monocle Monday!