I never watched this show. But they are dressed like pilgrims and that makes it topical.
via.
I feel just the same. It’s why I prefer my full name.
This post originally appeared on November 25, 2010.
Posts Tagged ‘Teevee Time’
Teevee Time: What makes a b “E.”
November 24, 2011Talk nerdy to me — Teevee Time: The Simpsons, Just in time for the big week
July 19, 2011
#uncomfortabletruths
Teevee Time: The Brady Bunch, “Choices.”
July 8, 2011It’s Friday. Do what feels right.
via.
More than anything else, I adore her stupefied look of delight from beneath the towel. Florence Henderson is my little candy-coated filthy miracle. Get it, girl!
Teevee Time: the Brady Bunch — Sobbing
July 2, 2011
via.
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion…I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
(Kurt Vonnegut.)
Knock-knock: Who’s there? Still alive and quick explanation with bonus preview of coming attractions
April 1, 2011
via.
Don’t tell anyone I did this but … unannounced hiatus has been due to Lent: wanted to see if I could give up something that was actually hard not to do this year. It is way tougher than diet coke or dessert, from which I’ve also been abstaining. But I didn’t give up smoking or bloody beer — I’m not completely crazy.
In the meantime, a preview of coming attractions:
La Maschera del Demonio/The Mask of Satan/Black Sunday/The Black Mask (Mario Bava, 1960).
In the meantime, remember that all the past spotlighted Playmates in the journal’s various projects have now been placed in their own Playboy category for your streamlined browsing pleasure, as well as to make it even more convenient for Hef to one day sue the everloving crap out of me.
via.
via.
…. And at which you have now guessed, correctly, unless you did a lot of tranqs in the last fifteen to twenty years. Don’t do drugs, kids. Don’t be like Carol Brady. Not ever.
All in all, I’ve been storming along, barbituate-free, like a Lent-observing bat outta hell and I got a lot of dogs in the fire — I’m looking forward to a strong return as soon as Easter has passed. As you can see, I will be back with a bang in a few weeks. This has just been a “can I even do it?” excercise to flex my muscles of restraint.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to see a man about a Giants’ game.
via.
Don’t you dare.
Catch you all on the upcoming flip side!
Daily Batman: Teevee Time, “The Simpsons”
December 7, 2010
The Simpsons. Season 8, Episode 9: “El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer.” Original airdate January 5, 1997.
Teevee Time: What makes a b “E.”
November 25, 2010I never watched this show. But they are dressed like pilgrims and that makes it topical.
via.
I feel just the same. It’s why I prefer my full name.
Teevee Time: Skins
October 19, 2010
via lolitas.
Hannah Murray as Cassie, Skins.
Teevee Time and Advice: Not today
October 6, 2010
via fyeahscrubs on the tumblr.
Keep that chin up and go get ’em!
Tevee time and Music Moment: Coupl’a’ Unlikely G’s — That Bald Sweaty Lawyer and The Girl He’s Sweet on, “Screw You.”
June 21, 2010Nobody expects a ukulele!
Brain-asplodin’ cuteness.
God bless you, Ted. God bless you, Scrubs.
My sister-in-law and I used to have a running telephone gag where because of its glorious syndicated ubiquity — you could watch blocked hours at a time of it during the afternoon if you switched channels at the right half-hour — we would talk as though Scrubs were a new show of which we’d scarcely just now heard. It would go about like this:
“Helloooo! What are you doing?”
“Helloooo! I’m watching this situation comedy set in a hospital.”
“Really? What is it called?”
“Hmm. Docs or Duds or something.”
“Is it Scrubs, maybe?”
“Yes! Scrubs.”
“I’ve heard of that! That seems interesting.”
“It is! It’s even funny. Two of the doctors I think like each other.”
“Do you think they will ever get together, and then break up, and then do it over and over and over?”
“I have no idea — it’s a total mystery!”
“Gosh! I think I would like that. When can I catch it?”
“I’m not sure. It doesn’t seem like it’s on very often.”
Miss you, Christer. Muah. ♥
The Scrubs screencaps in this post come from fyeahscrubs! on the tumblr. When all the “Fuck yeah” tumblrs started, I was skeptical, but I find them increasingly great and this particular one has such awesome caps that I can go on there when I’m down and come out practically crying from laughing so hard. “You seem unhappy. I like that.” Thanks!
Teevee Time: Tonight, tonight won’t be just any night, or, Ready to get “Lost” … Final Ed.
May 23, 2010Portions of this entry have appeared before.
When I overhauled my life last year, I discovered that I am not a big guy for the television (except for 30 Rock, though even that I just periodically catch up on using the hulu), so I — without fanfare or officialdom but just mainly and casually — quit it nearly altogether in favor of holing up under the covers with a book or lurking in the batcave on the computer. However, the one show I stopped watching but have never stopped thinking about is Lost, the final episode of which airs tonight.
Nevermind the crisp and bullocks. Give me that rum. Mmm — Dharma Initiative-y.
I’ve mainly kept up this year and now I find myself looking down the barrel of the final episode. The thing is, almost literally everything in my life has changed since I first heard about and, a few months later when it premiered, began watching this show. I mean everything. Like, other than my gender, I have changed pretty much every other aspect of my life. I’ve had a child, earned a degree, married, moved, moved again, split up, shook up, sometimes I even throw up, overhauled career and self, set new goals, I mean, jeebus — I’ve been all over the map physically and emotionally since I first tuned in to this program.
L to R: Almanzo Wilder, Nellie Olson, and Laura Ingalls “Half-Pint” Wilder.
(Not pictured in the above shot: Velociraptor cyborgs and the ghost of Abraham Lincoln’s clone. Yes, clone — the Good One. The Evil One went rogue and was shot by government agent and island native John Wilkes Boothe. Oh, historical snap! Eventually they killed the Good One too and his ghost haunts the island now because it is all just Agent Mulder’s dream.) I remember one time a friend telling me that he’d hit rock bottom and I agreed I’d done the same — but we also concurred that suicide was for neither of us an option because then we would never know what happens on the last episode of Lost. Does Gilligan pick Ginger? Or Mary Anne?? Aw, just kiddin’, rabid Losties. He picks the Skipper, duh!
Who is a pretty princess?? Daniel Faraday is a pretty princess! I ♥ this character in an embarassing way, the sort of way for which I would mercilessly mock others.
It is sobering to consider how different a person I am now than I was when this interest began. I cannot even begin to count the ways, and it’s actually starting to freak me out. So now I am preparing to throw on pyjamas, pick up pepperoni pizza, and slide on down to Gorgeous George’s with the kidlet to watch the finale of Lost, and, in a wider sense, take another step toward closing what has been a very tumultuous chapter in my life.
Catch you on the flip side. (“See you in another life, brutha.”)
Spoiler: I can’t believe Darth Vader is Charles Widmore’s father.
Teevee Time: A story in stills — Gumby, “Balloonacy.”
May 11, 2010Oh, my gosh, dudes — Gumby!! Turns out it’s simply all over that there ol’ youtube. I’ve had flu today and it has kept me some Excellent Company. So it’s Teveee Time!
From the late-breaking children’s nostalgic expansion series The Gumby Adventures, which aired in the ’80’s — and I am glad of being able to have at least been in on the ground level of that much of this wonderful franchise — by which time good ol’ green bendy-flexi hero Gumby had gained a sister and quite the phalanx of diverse friends. This episode was titled “Balloonacy.”
It’s Denali’s birthday, so Gumby and Pokey get some balloons for the party. As well as some normal helium balloons, they decide to pick up some magic, self-inflating balloons.
The episode begins with Granny, the neighborhood Model T aficionado, pulling up to the Gumby household, having just fetched home in her gleaming hearse of a jalopy young Minga (Gumby’s little sister, a latebreaking Material World addition to the Gumby family of characters) from a birthday party, from which Minga has clutched in her gooey little hands the souveneir of a single, crummy balloon.
Gumba, mater familias to Gumby and Minga, invites Granny in for some tea to thank her for ferrying Minga about Whatever-Its-called town (I’m sick or I’d wiki it, sorry).
Naturally bored, Minga wanders with her balloon out to the front yard, where Pokey the Pony and Gumby are playing a little frisbee.
Yikes. I have no idea why Pokey looks so unbelievably sly and spooky here. What gives, good pal?! Good gravy!
So then the worst thing ever happens, and Gumby and Pokey accidentally send Minga’s balloon back to that great party store in the sky.
Oh, shit! Minga tries to be really sweet and cool about it but you can tell (as can good brother Gumby) that she is in actuality totally bummed.
Pokey and Gumby were heading in to Town after aimless coy-eyed frisbee anyways to pick up supplies for their friend Denali the Mastodon’s upcoming hopefully-surprise birthday party — not making this up, and everyone knows how tough it is to “surprise” a mastodon …
… so have some empathy for their plight, please — and the pair secretly agree to replace Minga’s lost balloon while they’re at it, using Any Means Necessary.
Oh, my heavens. Loose cannons, these two! Gumby and Pokey, I want your guns and your badges on my desk by three o’clock, and if I ever catch you up to the shenanigans you were trying to pull at the mayor’s wife’s Tupperware party again, you’ll be on traffic patrol the rest of your natural careers! And I hope you two know another thing — I … I …. *sniff* god dang it — I’m proud of you (we all cry).
Okay, so then they pick up some balloons on the regular streets of toy Town of your expected, standard, non-magical variety in several shapes and sizes, and then Gumby does this Totally Freaky Thing where he turns his two triangle leg-thingies into a vestigial single tail-thingy and straight up slithers back into his car.
Tried to capture it fully but this is the best Science can do. Totally not okay.
Shortly after the slithering and with not even slant eyes from Pokey, who is apparently hep to his friend’s possesssion troubles, Gumby and Pokey are cruising back to their yellow dinosaur-friend thingy’s farm-place to assemble Denali’s party surprises when they pass what appears to be Just The Ticket to appease young Minga and her tragic, all-their-fault balloon loss!
They clamber from the car to go see what’s up with that. No tail visible, please note. (Look. All I want are answers. None come.)
Unbeknownst to them, Gumby and Pokey have an audience — the badassical Blockheads, “G” and “J”. (May the lord strike me dead if I ever stop rooting for them. They are red and they are good archers. What is so wrong with adoring them?! Gumby is kind of a goofy putz, you must admit: it’s not like thwarting him has ever stopped Nobel peace work or something.)
Gumby and Pokey enter the book, beautifully …
… and encounter an intriguing and powerful magician who is really frankly styled to be outlandishly Mexican (how I wish this was not so. But it is, and how — sorry.).
They explain their predicament.
The magician is astonished, but then assures them he can help them, and he blows their minds with some tricks. What the magician and I are now about to show you, I am not sure is legal …
… but Gumby and Pokey soldier through the guttwisting demonstration and wisely surmise it is the End to their Troubles with finding dazzling birthday gifts for Denali, because what do you get the prehistoric beast who’s literally seen it all, and young sister Minga!
(After all, why should she not also have the best in inflatable pig-anus-whosa-whatisis-thingy-balloon-dolls? just because she is a little kid and the entire inflation process looks hella ten kinds of traumatic? don’t make me laugh!)
Soon, Gumby and Pokey are on their way, with the Blockheads trailing them, all the way to Prickle’s barn.
Prickle the dino-thingy acts totally shady about the helium inflater. I don’t know if he’s a former huffer or what the deal is, but his actions and expressions around it are really weird and out of character. He seems untrustworthy in its presence. And that is a concern.
Gumby, like Lucille Bluth and your loving, flu-ridden hostess E, hella sucks at winking. Phew! There are so many more of us than I thought!
Gumby and Pokey explain the crazy magic balloons to Prickle and Goo. Why are you puzzling over Goo? Goo is a flying mermaid, duh, and she can take on any shape she chooses. Happens all the time.
Okay, now do you see what I mean about Prickle and that helium tank? Hecka shady! I haven’t seen a little yellow dinosaur looking so sneaky since B.J. from Barney and Friends knocked up Sesame Street’s Prairie Dawn. Oh, my gosh. Worst joke ever. I need to go eat glass now. I’m so sorry. Forever.
The Gang heads to Denali’s big pink mansion with the ballons (which completely dwarfs the suburban tract house that Gumby and Minga live in, where we can only assume Pokey is stabled, unless he stays on Prickle’s farm when Prickle is not busy huffing hecka all kinds of inert monoatomic gasses).
Goo is all in to the tiger, while Prickle goes for the pink elephant. Gumby, meanwhile, has slipped off to patch things up with Minga.
I’m not precisely sure into what Gumbo is trying to talk Gumba in this scene — although I have my definite suspicions — as she bemusedly washes dishes at the sink while he clearly spins a spiel.
While they are tied up in whatever exactly private-times planning they are doing, Gumby has dropped off with Minga the inflatable bunny balloon from the magician and shown her how to pump him up. (Anally. No connection, I’m sure, to their parents’ conversation.) The shock of all this sauce combined with a giant bunny, the very symbol of fertility, makes Gumba faint in to Gumbo’s arms.
Back at Denali’s place, Denali wakes up and goes out to investigate the noise from his front porch.
Oh, holy crap! A bunch of giant balloons and a banner! What a — oh, my ticker, gassssspppp…
Way to go, you guys. You killed him.
Yes, Goo, you should be perturbed, you shapeshifting blue scamp — and let that be a lesson to you about plotting to “surprise” a thing that has been around longer than sin and cockroaches.
Aw, just kiddin’, kiddos! Look: Denali is okay! Yay! — although I must grimly warn you that being a pachyderm he will Never Forget this shock, even 70 years from now when you are drooling in your oatmeal at an old folks’ home and he unexpectedly bursts through the door to yank you outside and stomp your shoulder blades in the street while you can only moan “why?” — he will know why, even as you struggle to remember how to piss your pants from the pain. That’s what you get. Anyway, happy birthday, Denali!!
The Blockheads have had just about all they can stand of this merry and cheesey, “all-gods-chillun-gots-birthdays” chicanery so they amiably start shooting arrows at the balloons, which naturally pops them.
This freaks Pokey out so bad that his eyes turn in to Shelley Duvall’s rack. (Sick left-field ’70’s burn on one of my favorite actresses!)
G and J get totally busted by Goo, Denali, and Prickle (look at Goo all flying off with her determined, shapeless little blue body to catch those bad boys) before they can do more than pop a few. Bummer.
By the time Gumby gets back from mending fences with Minga, the Blockheads have been captured and are sailing off in a balloon toward an uncaring horizon, ostensibly chastened by the prospect of cruel starvation and never setting foot on land again (just punishment? I think not).
And that’s “Balloonacy”! Sorry that went forever but I am sick as hayull. Thanks for playing!
Flashback Friday — Audrey Hepburn Half-Day; “It happens, Texas Ghost Sex edition”
April 8, 2010Welcome to Flashback Friday, because I’m actually not here at all, but rather on the road to Arcata with my Special K! Today’s Flashback is: Audrey Hepburn Half-Day, which was roughly six months ago.
Here’s how it all began:
“A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.” –Anna Nicole Smith
Perfectly reasonable.
I’m serious. She actually made a lot of sense to me. Like watching a modern live version of Sound and the Fury or something. A real Holly Golightly, as Tru originally envisioned her in the B @ T’s novel, not as the patron saint of anorexics brought to screen. Miss ya, Twinks. I hope Heaven is a wild party.
Teevee Time: I Dream of Jeannie, “The Second Greatest Con Artist in the World”
March 9, 2010I am determined to shake off the weird sense of anxiety and sadness I have this week. With that in mind, there is nothing like a little adorable Barbara Eden and her wonderful faces to cheer me up!
I Dream of Jeannie, Season 3, Episode 3. “The Second Greatest Con Artist in the World.” Original air date: September 26, 1967.
Get it, girl! Razzle dazzle ’em.
Jeannie and Tony go on vacation to Hawaii. Jeannie wears a fancy scarab pin that King Tut gave to her back in The Day, and gains the attention of a con man named Charles (guest star Milton Berle).
Reporter: Boy that’s an interesting pin; it must be a copy of the King Tut Scarab.
Jeannie: (haughtily) “A copy?!” This is the original!
Tony: Jeannie, why did you have to wear that pin?
Jeannie: I wanted to look nice for you!
Tony: Well. … Did that thing really cost a half a million dollars?
Jeannie: I do not know. (shrug) King Tut did not say.
Tony: Wh — did King Tut really give this to you?
Jeannie: Oh, yes, he was quite fond of me. He was a very nice man, you know. Well. A bit of an egomaniac.
Charles tries to convince her to trade the priceless scarab pin for diamonds he claims have been found covering the beach at Lēʻahi (Diamond Head).
Excited at the prospect of making Tony rich, and, being honest-to-a-fault herself, Jeannie falls for Charles’ line of bull. Shenanigans ensue.
I’m a huge Milton Berle guy and I gotta say this is one of the most irreplaceably insane pictures of him that I have ever seen.
Hoping to get his mitts on the valuable King Tut scarab pin in Jeannie’s possession, Charlie “trades” the bauble for Diamond Head Beach, with the help of a partner in crime named Vanderhaven (Fred Clark). Unfortunately for the crooks, Jeannie gets even by conjuring up a deucedly clever “sting” operation. (via allmovie.com)
Dig that fun synopsis: “deucedly” clever, even. Can you watch the swearing, please, allmovie.com? You’re likely to peel the paint right off my walls with that kind of blue language. Tea and crumpets, the saucy blackguards!
Tony: This is certainly a beautiful yacht.
Charlie: Why, thank you. You know, I keep a launch out at Nassau.
Jeannie: (excitedly in an aside to Tony) Oh! Would you like a beautiful ya–
Tony: No, no, no, Jeannie. No! Shhh.
Final fun fact: This episode was co-written by Claudio Guzman and “Allan Devon,” which was a pen name for producer Sidney Sheldon.
Teevee Time: the X-Files, “Bad Blood”
March 1, 2010X-Files, Season 5, Episode 12: “Bad Blood.”
While investigating a series of bizarre exsanguinations in the sleepy town of Chaney, Texas, about 50 miles south of Dallas, Mulder kills a teenage boy wearing fake vampire fangs, whom he “mistakes” for a vampire by pounding a stake through the boy’s heart.
The young man’s family is now suing the FBI for $446 million, and Mulder and Scully are brought before FBI Director Walter Skinner to tell their versions of what happened. Prior to making their reports, Mulder and Scully attempt to get their stories “straight” by relating to each other their differing versions of what happened during their investigation.
(combination of the wiki and the imdb)
Sheriff Hartwell: You really know your stuff, Dana.
(Dreamy music. Scully smiles goofily and the scene shifts back to real time)
Mulder: Pffft! Wh–? “Dana?!”
Mulder: He didn’t even know your first name.
Scully: (pause) … You gonna interrupt me or what?
Mulder: Oh, no-no. You go ahead … Dana.
Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: [drugged] “Who’s the black private dick who’s a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can you dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother —
Mulder: (singing) — shut yo’ mouth! I’m jus’talkin’’bout Shaft!”
(Scene shifts back to real time)
Mulder: I did not.
Guest stars were Luke Wilson (Home Fries, Legally Blonde, The Royal Tenenbaums, Old School, bloated phone commercials that remind me that age comes inevitably for us all, and that ripening is not always kind even to handsome Hollywood guys you once wanted to boff that you thought would stay hot forever) as Sheriff Lucius Hartwell and Patrick Renna (“Ham” in The Sandlot!) as Ronnie Strickland.
Mulder: It’s all true.
Scully: Except for the part about the buck teeth.
(repeated line): I was drugged.
Gillian Anderson voted this her favorite episode of all time.
The Thought Experiment 