Flashback Friday — Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Viggo Mortensen Edition

This post originally appeared on September 27, 2009 at 6:55 pm.

It’s like bringing a gun to a knifefight.

“The way we present ourselves is a veneer, and beneath that, there are a lot more unpleasant things.” –Viggo Mortensen.

In addition to being an excellent actor, Viggo Mortensen is also a published poet, jazz musician who has released three CDs to favorable reviews, and a gifted painter whose provocative full-wall murals appear in A Perfect Murder, the 1998 adapatation of Hitchcock’s Dial “M” For Murder. Furthermore, your wife, girlfriend, mother, or sister would all leave you for him without a backward glance. Did you know?

According to the wiki, Viggo Mortensen has property near the seat of the teeny little county in the northwestern tip of the United States from which both sides of my family hail, but I have never seen him there even effing once. Total folklore. What gives, man? Next time you are in Bumfuck, Idaho, call a bitch.

“We all experience many freakish and unexpected events—you have to be open to suffering a little. The philosopher Schopenhauer talked about how out of the randomness, there is an apparent intention in the fate of an individual that can be glimpsed later on. When you are an old guy, you can look back, and maybe this rambling life has some through-line. Others can see it better sometimes. But when you glimpse it yourself, you see it more clearly than anyone.” –Viggo Mortensen

Y’all please excuse Viggo Mortensen while he blows ya mind.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Vincent Cassel

It has been way too long since we saw a hot man bein’ hot of the day around here. Vincent Cassel, take it away!

Brilliant oddball Vincent Cassel is married to a personal heroine, Monica Bellucci — ten years in August. Impressive! He is a director, actor, writer and musician. Generally he plays maniacs and bad guys (I love crazy).

He has said of his being typecast in tough guy parts, “It’s all right. I like playing baddies.” The first role in which I ever saw him was as Gilles de Rais in Luc Besson’s 1999 film The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc, which for my Catholic, action-movie-loving, Milla-Jovovich-adoring money is one of the best freakin’ movies evah.

Some fun Vincent and Monica facts from the imdb:

Both have been the Master of Ceremonies at the Cannes film festival: Vincent in 2006, Monica in 2003.

For professional reasons, Vincent lives mostly in Paris while Monica Bellucci lives mostly in London. Despite this, they have appeared in the following films together: Sheitan (2006), Agents secrets (2004), Irréversible (2002), Le pacte des loups (2001), Méditerranées (1999), Le plaisir (et ses petits tracas) (1998), Compromis (1998), Dobermann (1997), Come mi vuoi (1997) and L’appartement (1996).

Some of Vincent’s english-language credits from which you might recognize him include Elizabeth, Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen, Eastern Promises, and the forthcoming Darren Aronofsky picture Black Swan, which will also star Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Winona Ryder, and Barbara Hershey (freaking awesome).

A musician among his other many talents, Vincent performed the song “Step Da Step Krugom” in Eastern Promises. He also appeared as the voice of Monsieur Hood and sang the gay, snappy little Merry Men number in Shrek — you know, the scene in the wood where Princess Fiona kicks their asses all Matrix style.

Final shot featuring bonus heat from one Mister Viggo Mortensen (of course) from the set of Eastern Promises:

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Double Your Geekiness, Double Your Fun edition

What’s better than posts about Sean Bean or Viggo Mortensen? A post about Sean Bean and Viggo Mortensen. Oh, my god, like, do you feel a little set up now? Don’t worry, I have not mismanaged your expectations: I, too, forgot until earlier today when I was unpacking a bunch of my stuff (twitch) that they were both in Lord of the Rings. I do not know how I forgot, but I did, and believe me, I apologize and vow to rectify that error. Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind. Either way? SCORE!

And, finally, reunited and it feels so good, first just sitting around getting high in front of blue walls or else casually tickling one another, and then at the Empire Awards, 2009, in some kind of folkloric greeting area (you know these types of things are just to make money, right? they are largely meaningless).

The person from whose site I am linking this picture without permission (I am a dick and I’m in a hurry!) claims that in this shot, what had happened was Viggo Mortensen stuck his hand up the back of Sean Bean’s shirt and tickled him. I don’t totally see evidence of that, but I’m not dismissing it out of hand. I’m okay with that being true. So we’ll see.

Hot Man Bein’ Hot of the Day: Viggo Mortensen Edition

It’s like bringing a gun to a knifefight.

“The way we present ourselves is a veneer, and beneath that, there are a lot more unpleasant things.” –Viggo Mortensen.

In addition to being an excellent actor, Viggo Mortensen is also a published poet, jazz musician who has released three CDs to favorable reviews, and a gifted painter whose provocative full-wall murals appear in A Perfect Murder, the 1998 adapatation of Hitchcock’s Dial “M” For Murder. Furthermore, your wife, girlfriend, mother, or sister would all leave you for him without a backward glance. Did you know?

According to the wiki, Viggo Mortensen has property near the seat of the teeny little county in the northwestern tip of the United States from which both sides of my family hail, but I have never seen him there even effing once. Total folklore. What gives, man? Next time you are in Bumfuck, Idaho, call a bitch.

“We all experience many freakish and unexpected events—you have to be open to suffering a little. The philosopher Schopenhauer talked about how out of the randomness, there is an apparent intention in the fate of an individual that can be glimpsed later on. When you are an old guy, you can look back, and maybe this rambling life has some through-line. Others can see it better sometimes. But when you glimpse it yourself, you see it more clearly than anyone.” –Viggo Mortensen

Y’all please excuse Viggo Mortensen while he blows ya mind.